Anthony LaPaglia credited as playing...
- [Joe is talking to the police about Warren]
- Joe: [to Warren] How old are you?
- Warren: Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter your brains on the wall.
- Joe: [to the cops on the phone] Yeah, he's a juvenile.
- Joe: [hands retrieved CDs to the caught shoplifter] I want you to take these, hold 'em against your chest, stand against the wall, and they're gonna take a photograph of you.
- Warren: Why don't you go shove 'em up your ass?
- Lucas: Because it would hurt a lot, Warren.
- Jane: What are you doing later?
- Joe: I don't know. I'm either going to jail or hell, I can't decide.
- A.J.: Joe, I need to ask your advice. Now I know you know a lot about love and women and all that sort of thing...
- Joe: Oh yeah, my wife left me for another woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint. Does this qualify me?
- A.J.: Oh yeah, definitely.
- Corey: Joe, you're the best boss in the world. Can I bring Rex his lunch?
- Joe: Berko's taking him his lunch.
- Corey: Um Joe, you know that Berko's gonna insult him to his face I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Joe: I don't care if Berko sticks an M-80 up his butt and lights it. In fact, I hope he sticks one up mine, it might be an improvement.
- Corey: Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.
- Joe: Berko is.
- Corey: Joe, I need to bring him his lunch.
- Joe: Berko is.
- Corey: [screams] I'M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!
- [pause]
- Joe: ...alright.
- Joe: Deb, what are you doing?
- Debra: I just wanted to have a little chat with Warren.
- Warren: Yeah? Have a little chat with my gun.
- [waves it under her nose]
- Debra: [into the barrel of Warren's gun] What do you want Warren?
- Warren: *Stop calling me Warren! My name isn't fucking Warren!*
- [kicks furniture to underline point]
- Eddie: His name isn't Warren.
- Corey: [whispers] His name isn't Warren?
- Berko: [whispering as well] His name isn't Warren?
- Mark: I thought his name was Warren?
- Debra: [to Warren] Well, you can't kill me 'cause I'm already dead. And I talked to God, and she says, "Yo, wassup?" and she wants you to lose the gun.
- Warren: What? You are a psycho! A *psycho!*
- Joe: [after Lucas enters] Lucas!
- Lucas: Joe!
- Joe: Where's the money?
- Lucas: Joe, the money is gone.
- Joe: Yeah, I know it's gone... but where's it gone to?
- Lucas: Atlantic City.
- Joe: Atlantic City?... Is it coming back from Atlantic City?
- Lucas: [nervous laugh] Oh, I don't think so, Joe.
- Joe: What's it doing in Atlantic City, Lucas?
- Lucas: ...Recirculating.
- Joe: Recirculating?
- Lucas: Yeah.
- [Joe knocks the donation cup that Lucas was carrying out of his hands and grabs his arm]
- Joe: Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.
- Lucas: Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City... I swear.
- Joe: Shut up, sit down, and don't you move.
- Lucas: [sitting down] It could be in other cities by now...
- Joe: Oh, shut up! Under no circumstances do I want you to leave that couch... unless it's to get me $9000, and then you bring it here to me, okay?
- Lucas: Okay. You know, I think things are gonna be all right now, Joe.
- Joe: Oh? And what makes you think that.
- Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
- [nodding]
- Lucas: Mmhmm!
- Joe: ...What a moron.
- Joe: Could you please not sing, Mark.
- Mark: You know what Joe? One of these days, I'm gonna show you little people.
- Joe: Yeah, well on that day I'm gonna jump outta my wheelchair and do a dance.
- Mark: How 'bout today, huh? Rex Manning day.
- Lucas: Joe, I think it's gonna be okay.
- Joe: What makes you think that?
- Lucas: Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
- Joe: Gina, you'd better go home.
- Gina: Am I fired?
- Joe: Have I fired anyone today? No. Why would I start with you?
- Lucas: Mitchell's the man, Joe.
- Joe: And the man calls all the shots.
- Lucas: Damn the man.
- Joe: Let me explain it to you. Mitchell's the man. I'm the idiot. You're the screw-up. And we're all losers. Welcome to Music Town.
- [after Joe beats Lucas up in his office]
- Joe: Here.
- [hands Lucas a washcloth]
- Joe: You deserved that, you know that.
- Lucas: Yeah, I know it.
- A.J.: ...you know, I got to tell her that I, uh, well, you know, that I uh...
- Joe: love her.
- A.J.: Yeah, now how do I do that?
- Joe: You say I love you. What do you want, written instructions?
- Mitch: Why do I get the feeling that I'm being royally screwed?
- Joe: Because you are, Mitch.
- A.J.: Hey Joe, I wanna tell Corey how I feel about her, and I thought you'd be the perfect guy for the job...
- Joe: Oh, yeah. My wife left me for a woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave on gunpoint. Does this qualify me?
- A.J.: Yeah, absolutely.
- Joe: Where's Rex?
- Debra: Got a better question for you, Joe. Where's Gina?
- [Joe hears Gina in the xerox room with Rex]
- A.J.: I'll look upstairs.
- Debra: I'll check the bathroom.
- Berko: I'll check the storage room.
- Lucas: I'll check the sofa.
- Joe: Where's Rex?
- Debra: I've got a better question for you, Joe. Where's Gina?
- [meaningful look at closed door behind which whirring copier and Gina's giggles are heard]
