Joey Lauren Adams: Gwen

Mallrats

Gwen

Gwen: How is it that you recall the most trivial events?
Brodie: I'll never forget it. How many times do you get to see Smokey fuck the Bandit?
Gwen: Didn't I look just like Burt Reynolds?
Brodie, T.S. Quint: Except for the moustache.

Jay: You're fucking kidding me! The Easter bunny did this?
Brodie: All I said was that the Easter bunny at the Menlo Park mall was more convincing and he just jumped the railing and knocked me down.
Jay: He's fucking dead!
Brodie: Oh let it go, he's under a lot of pressure.
[T.S. and Gwen approach them]
T.S. Quint: What the hell happened?
Jay: The guy in the Easter bunny suit kicked his ass.
Brodie: I had it coming.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Fuck all that shit! Come on, Silent Bob.
[Jay and Silent Bob leave]
T.S. Quint: What really happened?
Brodie: The proprietor of Fashionable Male beat a raincheck into my stomach.
Gwen: Shannon Hamilton?
T.S. Quint: You know that guy?
Gwen: I went out with him once after we dated. He tried to screw me some place very uncomfortable.
T.S. Quint: What? Like the back of a Volkswagen?
Brodie: Sounds like his M.O.

T.S. Quint: I never noticed it before, but she really fuels your engine. I don't know, you have this new like glow about you or something
Brodie: I don't have a glow.
T.S. Quint: Yeah, you do. You're glowing.
Brodie: Look, if I had any kind of glow it's because I just got laid. I would look the same had I banged *anyone* in that elevator - present company excluded.
T.S. Quint: Look, deny it all you want. I think that you're too proud to admit that you want her back.
Brodie: I suddenly want something very bad to happen to you.
T.S. Quint: What's your problem. I don't understand...
[Gwen arrives and TS accidentally elbows her in the chest]
T.S. Quint: Oh, Gwen, I'm sorry.
Gwen: Oh, you fucker!
[Gwen punches TS in the groin, TS falls to the ground]
Brodie: See, that's what you get for fucking with me.

Brodie: You know how when someone lays with their back to you, and you lay behind them really close and you throw one arm over them?
T.S. Quint: It's called spooning.
Brodie: Yeah, but you gotta put the other arm somewhere. You can either lay on it or shove it between your bodies. The only other option is to stretch it above your head. But sometimes my arm pops out of socket when I'm sleeping like that. So I was constantly searching for someplace to keep my arm while still laying close to her.
Gwen: And?
Brodie: What do you mean, 'and'? That's like a metaphor for our whole relationship. I'm all out. I'll meet you at the food court.
Saleslady at Lingerie Store: [crying] I know exactly how he feels. Excuse me.