Woody Allen credited as playing...
Lenny
- Linda Ash: You're married, aren't you?
- Lenny Weinrib: How can you tell that?
- Linda Ash: 'Cause you got that look.
- Lenny Weinrib: "That look?" What... what look is that?
- Linda Ash: That look like it's been a long time since you had a great blowjob.
- Cassandra: Now I see big trouble!
- Lenny Weinrib: Oh for God's sakes, you're such a Cassandra!
- Cassandra: I'm not 'such a Cassandra'; I am Cassandra!
- Max: Who is the boss between you and mommy?
- Lenny Weinrib: Who is the boss? You have to ask that? I'm the boss. Mommy is only the decision maker.
- Lenny Weinrib: Who's Rickey?
- Linda Ash: He's, he's... he takes a percentage of my work.
- Lenny Weinrib: He's a pimp right?
- Linda Ash: No, he's like a business representative.
- Lenny Weinrib: Wha? ...what do you need a business representative...? All you need is a mattress and a couple of garter belts...you're not a conglomerate!
- Lenny Weinrib: [at the racetrack] There's a reason the horse is sixty to one though, y'know, he's probably got polio.
- Lenny Weinrib: You didn't see Schindler's List?
- Kevin: No, no... that was the one with the Jews and the, um... who were the bad guys?
- Lenny Weinrib: The Nazis. The blond guys were the Nazis.
- Kevin: They were tough motherfuckers.
- Lenny Weinrib: I told you from day one the girl was not a virgin!
- Kevin: You didn't tell me how many times though!
- Linda Ash: But seriously, you wanna know why I liked you right from the start?
- Lenny Weinrib: Why?
- Linda Ash: 'Cause I'm always attracted to losers.
- Lenny Weinrib: Losers. You think I'm a loser?
- Linda Ash: Yeah, you've got no confidence, it's sweet, I like that in a man. I can't stand those johns who come in and throw down a couple of hundred and whip out a big dick and wave it all over the joint.
- Lenny Weinrib: I wouldn't do that, even if I wanted to...
- Linda Ash: My father's brother was supposed to be a genius. I never met him, but everybody said he was brilliant.
- Lenny Weinrib: Really? What did he do?
- Linda Ash: He was a serial rapist. He spent his whole life in jail, but if he had gone straight, he might have been very good in math.
- Greek Chorus Leader: Don't go any further. I know what you're thinking, Lenny, and forget it!
- Lenny Weinrib: I can't forget it; the thought's been put in my head.
- Chorus: Oh, cursed fate; certain thoughts are better left unthunk.
- Linda Ash: You want to go inside, take a shower? You can study me up close and personal.
- Lenny Weinrib: Oh... oh, no, I've bathed already.
- Lenny Weinrib: Six dates? It's a slow night. I wish I had the penicillin concession in your apartment.
- Lenny Weinrib: Hey, wait a minute. I don't have any interest in controlling her. I'm doing this for Max's sake. When the kid gets older, inevitably he's gonna trace his mother. And, you know, I'd be happier if she was married and a-- a hairdresser, you know, rather than the star of "The Enchanted Pussy".