Doris Roberts credited as playing...
Marie Barone
- [Frank is eating lasagna from the platter]
- Marie Barone: Frank! What are you doing? You can't eat it from there! Your fork was in there! Now nobody can eat it!
- Frank Barone: That's all I have to do? In that case, the fork's been in the ice cream, too!
- Ray Barone: [comes in] Hey.
- Marie Barone: Hi, Raymond. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? Only you can't have lasagna... Or ice cream.
- Frank Barone: [sticks his fork in cake] Or chocolate cake.
- Marie Barone: Look at him! He's like an animal, marking his territory!
- [Frank sticks Marie with the fork]
- Marie Barone: Hey!
- Frank Barone: What? That's a compliment.
- Ray Barone: God, how I wish I could say this is the wrong house...
- Marie Barone: Frank do you love me?
- Frank Barone: YOU STILL NEED REASSURANCE, AFTER 45 YEARS OF BONDAGE?
- Marie Barone: [after seeing Ray and Robert hug each other] Your sons are hugging.
- Frank Barone: I'll get the hose.
- Frank Barone: What's for brunch, Marie?
- Marie Barone: Ham.
- Frank Barone: Excellent. I shall put on my ham pants.
- [Ray just ended a sentence with "at"; Marie is infuriated]
- Marie Barone: This is the end of civilization! People like you don't wanna learn or do anything, because they're too busy with their remote control televisions, or playing with their hula hoops, and before you know it,
- [shouts]
- Marie Barone: that's where we're at!
- Frank Barone: Where the cookies at?
- Robert Barone: All I wanted was a place where people would care about me.
- Marie Barone: You have that here, you stupid ass!
- Frank Barone: I'm sorry the check got stuck to the chubby hubby.
- Marie Barone: Oh Frank. You've never said that to me before.
- Robert Barone: No one's ever said that before.
- Marie Barone: You're giving him back that money!
- Frank Barone: Like hell, I am! I want to teach him a lesson. You up the stakes, you lose a lot. You play with matches and you get burned.
- [sticks check in front of Raymond]
- Frank Barone: AND, THANK YOU, COME AGAIN!
- [Frank is dressed as Frankenstein, growling copiously at Marie]
- Marie Barone: You think that's any different from what you really sound?