Judy Sheindlin credited as playing...
Self - Judge
- Judge Judy: These children are entitled to at least one parent to set a good example. Grownups take care of their children, they don't just provide them with food, they provide them with a moral compass. They try not to teach them to become brawling animals in parking lots, hitting each other with 2X4's, scratching each others' eyes out. Human beings don't do that to each other. You don't belong at a club at 12 a.m., you belong HOME! Reading them stories from a BOOK!
- Judge Judy: [to a plaintiff] ... My own children have taken my cars and had accidents. Once, one of my sons went over an embankment into a ditch; then he told me that the earth opened up because of severe rain, that such was how the car slid down the roadside. Needless to say, that story didn't work; but I didn't SUE him, either.
- Judge Judy: Judge Judy: Instead of going to the police, why didn't she take the couch and television and put in on a truck and take it to his house?
- Defendant: I will tell you why
- Judge Judy: Why?
- Defendant: It is too big, you can't even get it out of the door of the condo... the couch and the television.
- Judge Judy: Madam, did they build the condo around the couch and the television?
- Judge Judy: People who are single and living together shouldn't rent for a higher monthly rate than either of them could pay alone. Now I know I'm probably going to lose about 40% of my cases if I say this, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice for the common good. If only enough folks got that through their heads! Then you wouldn't have two people who are homeless, with their credit in the toilet. THEN they could part ways without all that fuss and aggravation!
- Judge Judy: ...That's why they don't let people drink until they're 21 years old, because even 21-year-olds are morons. 20-year-olds and 19-year-olds are double-morons. They shouldn't even be allowed out of the house after nine o'clock at night.
- Judge Judy: ...I am not going to ask you to leave. But, the next time you come into my courtroom, dress more appropriately. You are not going to a beach party.
- Judge Judy: [mimicking a litigant] "... She ran out of my house and slammed the door, breaking a window. I was extremely upset, so I grabbed a rock and tossed it gently at her car."