Michael Boatman credited as playing...
- James: Each year my mom makes a candy Nativity scene.
- [Carter walks by]
- James: Chocolate Jesus.
- Carter: James, at work, just call me Carter.
- [Carter tires of giving dating advice]
- James: Nikki asked me to get her a drink. What should I bring her?
- Carter: I don't know... a drink?
- James: She said to surprise her.
- Carter: Serve it to her naked.
- Stacey: Carter, act like my boyfriend.
- Carter: Sorry, I don't have time to buy a Camaro and alienate your parents.
- [a woman is making a pass at Carter]
- Carter: Your heterosexual powers have no effect on me.
- Paul: You know, I've been allergic to cats all my life, but at the pet morgue, nothing. Turns out I'm not allergic to dead cats.
- Carter: Then you should definitely get one.
- Carter: If the Deputy Mayor speaks in his office, and there are no cameras to hear, does he make a sound?
- Stuart: If that woman ever shows her face again, I will unleash a punishment upon her she cannot even fathom.
- Carter: What are you gonna do? You gonna date her?
- [Paul has just got kicked out by his mother]
- Carter: Oh, to be cast out to the world at the tender age of 40.
- Mike: Can you believe this guy?
- Carter: No. He has absolutely crossed the line. Who are we talking about?
- Janelle Cooper: [after beating Stewart in Air Hockey] Stewart, here's the fax you've been waiting for. And a message from Roberta in payroll. Oh, and I almost forgot. I also have your pride, self-respect, and what's left of your manhood.
- Carter: You should get that back. Might need that someday.
