Barry Bostwick credited as playing...
The Mayor
- Mayor Winston: Mike, look out that window. We preside over the greatest city in the world.
- Mike: Sir, that's New Jersey.
- [the Mayor is about to meet the President]
- Mayor Winston: What if I slap him?
- Caitlin: Why would you slap him?
- Mayor Winston: Well, you know, you tell yourself, "Don't slap the President, don't slap the President."
- Mayor Winston: I am not a child, and I *will not* be treated like one!
- Charlie: Sir, you forgot your shoes.
- Mayor Winston: I don't care.
- Roberta: Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching in the Gay Pride Parade this week?
- Mayor Winston: What, are you drunk?
- Drew West: So, Randy... what's your favorite sexual position?
- Mayor Winston: Well, that's really not any of your business. However, I hear yours is "Man on top, woman in magazine."
- Mayor Winston: Are you sure this is the best title for my autobiography? "Winston On Winston"?
- Mike: Hey, as long there aren't two guys on the cover, I think we're okay.
- [Mike is on TV]
- Mike: I can't believe that's me.
- Mayor Winston: Oh, I know ALL about that. You're here talking, but you're there talking... tricky.
- Mayor Winston: Did you know that when I was in college, I made a student film?
- Mike: Really?
- Mayor Winston: The Yale Daily News called it "an incoherent mess".
- Mayor Winston: [to Mike, after a picture of Mike kissing Heidi Klum's butt appears on the front page of a newspaper] That used to be my ass, Flaherty.