Charlie Sheen credited as playing...
Charlie Barkin
- Charlie: By the way, Carface, what did you trade Red for your collar?
- Carface: He wanted the bottom of my shoes, or something. Hehehe. I don't even wear shoes. Ah, stupid cat.
- Red: [from the hole which he went back to Hell through] Stupid dog! It was your soul!
- [Demons rise up from the hole and pull Carface into the hole as the others look down]
- Carface: Let me go! Red! This is not good! Red, no! Not the flames!
- Itchy: What do you know? And I thought all dogs go to Heaven.
- Charlie: It's hard to explain, Itch. This place is supposed to have everything but it doesn't. It's too... it's too...
- [singing]
- Charlie: It's too heavenly here/It's too graceful and paradise-like/Much too narrow and much too nice like/Endlessly sunny and clear/It's too heavenly here/It's too blissful to bear/Calm and quiet and much too mellow
- [Knocks over a tray of halos which all go around Itchy]
- Charlie: All my brain cells have turned to jello/Every day feels like a year
- [Someone pushes the halos off Itchy and drops both of them]
- Charlie: It's too heavenly here.
- [Grabs a harp on the way down]
- Charlie: I need some action/I need some juice
- [Fires Itchy with the harp like a bow and arrow]
- Charlie: A crazy kind of feeling of playing fast and loose/Some razzle dazzle and a little stress and strife/I gotta get some life in my life/But it's too heavenly here/There's no way you can be a sinner/Roll the dice/Everyone's a winner/It's so legit and sincere/It's too heavenly here/What good's a hustler/Without a scam/I'm wasted talent/That's all that I am/But this operator/Is at the wrong address/Cause there's nothing to finagle/And no one to fineeeeeeeesse
- Angel Choir: [while bathing them] It's so heavenly here/Pure and perfect/Sublime and shining/Every cloud has a silver lining/Everyone's full of good cheer/It's so heavenly here.
- Charlie: [singing again] They're all so saintly, I just can't relate/There's gotta be an exit/Through that pearly gate
- [Throws his halo just missing Itchy]
- Charlie: Behold the canine who's been cut down in his prime
- [the halo comes back over his head]
- Charlie: I may have done the crime/But I can't do the time/Cause it's too heavenly here/All Hallelujahs and Hosannas/It could drive anyone bananas/I'm going out of my head/This joint is deader than dead/I'll give you eight to three/It's too heavenly...
- Angel Choir: Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
- Charlie: To heaaaaaveeeeenly heeeeeeeere.
- Charlie: Why don't you ask him yourself?
- Sasha: Now that would be a miracle.
- Charlie: One miracle coming up.
- [disappears by taking off the collar and reappears in front of Sasha and kisses her, his miracle goes into her]
- Sasha: Ugh! Of all the arrogant, presumptuous, egotistical mutts I've ever met!
- David: Ahh! Now you talk.
- [Sasha puts her paw over her mouth]
- David: You must be an angel.
- Charlie: [after arriving to Earth from Heaven] Hey-lo! Double chili cheeseburger with onions and pickles!
- Charlie: So, is there a Mr. Sasha?
- Sasha: Nope and I'm not taking applications.
- Charlie: Okay. Okay but, if you were; what uh... what qualities would you be looking for?
- Sasha: Oh, I don't know.
- Charlie: Ah, of course you do.
- Sasha: Hmmm. Well... loyalty, strength, breeding...
- Charlie: I'd be good at that.
- Sasha: ...humility... compassion
- [Charlie accidently hits his head]
- Sasha: and of course, style.