Amityville Dollhouse

Eddie Murphy gave the best indictment of the Amityville series' believability when, imitating the new owner of the house, he said, "Oh baby, this place is beautiful. There are trees here and dogs and its a beautiful neighborhood and..."

"Demon: Get out!"

"Too bad we can't stay baby."

Again, in this movie, all of the family's problems would be solved if they did one simple thing. Leave!!! Just leave the house. That's always been my policy when my dead relatives come through the closet and giant mice run under my bed. It's time to go! Why does it take these people so long to figure that out?

Even if they don't want to leave the house, why don't they just destroy the doll house? One sledge hammer blow and all their problems are over.

This is a movie that is so bad that you will call friends to tell them it's on just so they can be in on the badness. The real horror is that they keep making dreck like this, keep employing no-talent actors and writers, and waste valuable plastic that could go into useful items like dildos and replacement parts for George W. Bush's head.

A haunted dollhouse (why is it haunted? Who knows?) is given to a little girl as a birthday present after her father finds it in the shed out back and it starts terrorizing the entire family by making their wildest dreams and nightmares come true.

A stepmother lusts after her stepson, her own son's pet mouse turns into a gigantic Jim Henson-ish creation, the husband keeps getting nosebleeds, and the stepson's girlfriend is caught on fire in their living room. Honestly, Amityville: Dollhouse is probably one of the more fun entries in the Amityville series, but it's hilarious how they're not even trying to link the films together anymore. Sure, the dollhouse looks a lot like the original Amityville house, but it's never explained why or how this dollhouse has such magical powers.

It is nice to see a little thought being put into the visual design of the film and there are some interesting shots every now and then. At least it doesn't feel like a cynical hack job. Someone was trying to achieve something which is more than I can say for most of the other entries in this franchise.

The Amityville Horror: in the real world, it's about a young man brutally murdering his family one night on a drug-fuelled rampage. In the world of film and fantasy, it's about demons in the cellar, possession, evil lamps, sinister clocks and unnecessary 3D. The film franchise has had a long life and some of the installments have been - and let's be kind here - god-awful. 'Dollhouse' was the very final installment before someone turned back the clock with the 2005 reboot, and having watched every single Amityville thus far made, I can honestly say it's not the worst. No, for that, we have to go back to 1992 for the pain and misery that is 'The Amityville Possession'.

Many of the sequels would spin a yarn from an artifact removed from the Long Island house that would then raise hell in a new setting. In 'Dollhouse', the house itself is an artifact in miniature. When the Martins, a dysfunctional Brady-style family (two single parents and their kids coming together as one unit) move into their new home, conflicts are down-to-earth and domestic until Martin Snr finds an old dollhouse in the shed that just happens to be the spitting image of the infamous residence in Long Island. As soon as the replica is brought into the house, things begin to go pear-shaped. Household appliances take on a life of their own, people start having bad dreams, and Jimmy, the youngest son, begins to see the rotting animated corpse of his dead birth father. Will everyone realise the cause of the disturbances in time, or will they all succumb to the evil designs of the dollhouse?

Amityville VIII, unlike its predecessors, makes no attempt to tie its plot in with the source material. No references are made to the DeFeo murders, demonic possession, or even the house itself. The only connection is the obvious visual link with the Dutch-colonial dollhouse, whose origins are never explored. It's as if the producers are saying 'Look, it's straight-to-video, you know the story, no-one will be watching who doesn't.' However, putting aside the very obvious question regarding where the dollhouse came from and what connection - if any - it has to the actual Amityville house, the story follows the familiar structure of its predecessors: characters possessed by demonic forces, unexplainable local phenomena and even killer insects. Also present is that same sense of deja vu, wherein you once again know you're watching a generic horror film with the word 'Amityville' stamped on it. To expect a lot at this stage however, after even the recycled ideas have been recycled, would be asking too much. This latest retreading still manages to be entertaining and not without its moments, and the actors present give convincing enough performances with the material handed to them. Compared with other entries in the series,the horror elements here are lower in tone, and the death scenes few and far between. There are a few dodgy monster moments, which while tied into the plot, aren't realised with the kind of budget that would do them justice, and the prosthetics only just about work. Overall however, the story follows its own internal logic well enough not to cause irritation and so long as you don't try to integrate it into the Amityville universe, it's an entertaining enough 90 minutes.

I have to say that watching every Amityville in the series has been torturously painful at times, sometimes making me wonder why I'm a sucker for B-grade horror. However, there have been some notable entries as well, with 1992's 'It's About Time' probably the most imaginative. 'Dollhouse' is a less ambitious rehashing of the formula, but it stands above the real clankers, enough to not leave a bitter aftertaste.

A perfect late-night sci-fi channel movie, and far more entertaining (for me) than the original Amityville.

The way the dollhouse creates different demons for each character, and the cheap but effective sfx, reminded me very much of the Creepshow or Graveyard Shift movies. Also, the 'fright' scenes skip along at a respectable pace and frequency, as opposed to other films which often plod through the middle.

Sure, the script contains some appalling lines and characterisation, and there are a few moments where more highly strung viewers would be screaming at the stupidity of the characters. I just smile.

With 15-20 years of further advances in sfx, and the cultural tendency of under 30's to confuse sarcasm with valid criticism, I can see why this film has such a low score on the IMDB. Individually, the elements don't stand up to a whole lot of scrutiny, but taken as a whole on its own merits (compared to similar films of the same period), I really enjoyed it. A few better lines, and better known actors, and there's no reason why people wouldn't look on this with the same sort of affection reserved for Poltergeist.

Don't miss if it's on TV.

Bill Martin (Robin Thomas) and his new wife Claire (Starr Andreeff) move into the new house he built in the California mountains. In a shed outback he finds a cute little dollhouse designed just like the famous Amityville, NY abode. How this got here or who built it is never explained. This is no Barbie Dream House though as this dollhouse crushes Bill's gift bike for his daughter's birthday and the parents resort to the "this should make a great gift" routine. The eighth and final Amityville flick before they did the remake. After part 3, the producers felt they could circumvent the whole Amityville house thing by having various possessed items from the house be the gateway to terror. So we had a lamp (AMITYVILLE: THE EVIL ESCAPES), a confessional (THE AMITYVILLE CURSE), a clock (AMITYVILLE: IT'S ABOUT TIME) and a mirror (AMITYVILLE: A NEW GENERATION). So I guess a dollhouse isn't that ridiculous. This is actually a two-for-one deal as we get a possessed recycled fireplace too (there is general confusion as the house was built on foundation of an old house that blew up to suggest it was the Amityville house, but this is clearly set in California). I'm just glad they stopped with this one or we would have ended up with the likes of possessed toaster in AMITYVILLE: YOU'RE TOAST. Or an evil stove in AMITYVILLE: YOUR BLOOD BOILS. One thing this sequel does that is surprising is bring back the taboo sex angle from part 2, along they play it a bit safer with the stepmom lusting for the stepson. Other than that, it is pretty routine stuff with the occasional cool effect here and there (like the progressively rotting dad who haunts his young son a la John Landis' werewolf classic).