Linda Henry credited as playing...
- Jamie: You know who Claude Monet is?
- Sandra: Jamie, don't make me out to be thick.
- Jamie: Who was he then?
- Sandra: He painted the Sixteenth Chapel.
- Sandra: You're pissed! From a bloody gay bar!
- Jamie: How do you know it's a gay bar?
- Sandra: Cos it's got a bloody great pink neon arse outside of it!
- Leah: Don't suppose you've got any jobs in your new pub?
- Sandra: No. But if I ever do turn it into a brothel I'll get back to you, ok?
- Sandra: It's not natural, is it?
- Jamie: What ain't?
- Sandra: A girl her age being into Mama Cass.
- Leah: She's got a really beautiful voice.
- Sandra: And what's wrong with Madonna?
- Leah: She's a slag.
- Sandra: Hypocrite.
- Sandra: What happened? School burned down, did it?
- Jamie: Yeah.
- Sandra: What was it this time? IRA bomb?
- Jamie: Fundamentalist Muslim pyromaniacs.
- Sandra: Oh, funny, that. Looked all right when I walked past it.
- Ste: There ain't nowhere else.
- Sandra: There is, actually, Ste. There's an island in the Mediterranean called Lesbian, and all its inhabitants are dykes. So you've got your eye wiped there.
- Sandra: Where are you going?
- Jamie: Out with my mates.
- Sandra: Jamie... you ain't got any mates.
- Sandra Gangel: Now you just remember I won a year's supply of toilet freshener for making up that poem. That took brains and artistry, that did.
- Jamie: [hearing phone ring] That'll be the phone.
- Sandra: Well it wouldn't be the bloody Hoover bag, would it?
- Sandra: It's for his bird.
- Tony: Do you have to use words like that? It really disempowers you.
- Leah: Come on Slasher, let's go.
- Sandra: Slasher? What do you slash, crepe paper?
- Leah: He's incontinent.
- Sandra: Jamie, who played the Baroness in the Sound of Music?
- Jamie: Eleanor Parker!
- Sandra: All I want outta life is enough money to buy a decent pair o'shoes that don't let in the rain.
- Sandra: [Talking about Ste after he rushes off, obviously upset] What's his problem?
- Jamie: He's in love, that's all.
