Tom Arnold credited as playing...
Rosco Bigger - Fang
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: You were my friend and you betrayed me!
- David Leary: You thought we were friends? You beat me up, you humiliated me, I'm 35 years old and I still have nightmares about the fourth grade! That's not what friends do for eachother, a friend is supposed to make you feel good about yourself!
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: Really? Then you're the best friend I ever had!
- Kirby: Dad are we really going to New York City?
- Roscoe Bigger: That's why they call them mobile homes, son, 'cause they're mobile.
- Roscoe Bigger: And when those junior psychos asked me what I was in there for, I had to tell them I was there because I STOLE A FREAKIN' ROCK!
- Roscoe Bigger: Okay who did that? If I find out who did that, I'll...
- Stookie: You'll what?
- Roscoe Bigger: Um... Well we'll just see.
- Roscoe Bigger: One time we were making key chains and I accidentally cut off my thumb.
- David Leary: Holy shit.
- Roscoe Bigger: Yeah, so I went to the hospital but there was a line so I drove over to the hardware store, got some needle and thread, and sewed it back on.
- David Leary: You sewed on your own thumb?
- Roscoe Bigger: Yeah I'm good at stuff like that.
- [David runs into bathroom and picks up hair dryer to throw at Roscoe]
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: What are you going to do? Style my hair?
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: [Stookie for the 2nd time throws an eraser towards Ross. Ross catches it madly. Stookie sits back down. Ross puts the eraser by the chalkboard] Now, there's going to be some changes in this class. I'm your teacher, and I happen to believe that building things with your hands is an important skill to learn. Now, whether you guys agree with me or not, I really don't care. But from now on, when you're in my class, you'll do what I say when I say it! Is that clear?
- Stookie: Ooh, I'm scared.
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: [a little long pause] Stookie, come on up here.
- [Stookie walks up]
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: This is a big classroom, so maybe you didn't hear me clearly.
- Stookie: No I heard ya. What are you going to do about it?
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: [Sarcastically] Stookie? I'd like to introduce you to a friend of mine.
- [Grabs Stookie by his head]
- Roscoe "Fang" Bigger: Mr. Grinder!