Hank Azaria credited as playing...
- Armand: What are you giving him drugs for? What the hell are Pirin tablets?
- Agador: It's aspirin with the "A" and the "S" scraped off.
- Armand: My God, what a brilliant idea!
- Agador: I know.
- Agador: Armand, why don't you let me be in the show? Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?
- Armand: Your what?
- Agador: My Guatemalan-ness, my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive to be on the stage with your little estrogen rockettes, right?
- Armand: You're right. I'm afraid of your heat.
- Armand: Is Albert here?
- Agador: No.
- Armand: Great. Then he's driving back from Miami at 20 miles an hour with the parking brake on.
- Armand: [to Agador] Pull yourself together! Because you have to cook dinner. And I'm going after fucking Albert.
- [Exits]
- Val: You... can *cook*, right?
- Agador: Your father seems to think so...
- Armand: Now take that wig off or I'll tell Albert you're wearing it.
- Agador: You do that, I'm gonna tell him you're seeing somebody else while he's on the stage.
- Armand: I have two words for you: green card.
- Agador: My father was the shaman of his tribe, okay? My mother was the high priestess, okay?
- Armand: Then why the hell did they move to New Jersey?
- Agador: I don't know, they're so stupid.
- Agador: Good eve-e-ning. May I take jour purse as usual... or for the first tine?
- Agador: When you gonna let me audition for you again?
- Armand: When you have talent.
- Armand: [Sees Agador dancing around while cleaning in a red wig] You look like Lucy's stunt double.
- Agador: No, I'm a combination of Lucy and Ricky.
- Armand: And it's terrifying.
- Armand: Ugh, what is this, sludge?
- Agador: Yes, it's sludge; I thought it'd make a nice change from coffee.
- Armand: Agador, you're gonna have to get yourself a uniform and dress like a butler.
- Agador: No! I'm gonna look like a fag!
- Armand: Maybe, but you'll look like a fag in a uniform.
- Val: Put your shoes on Agador, it's getting late.
- Agador: [In what he thinks is a normal waiter's voice] Ah, but there's no point in my putting shoes on.
- [blows out match]
- Agador: I never wear shoes because they make me fall down.
- Val: Just, put your shoes on, okay? And talk in your normal voice, and just... give me a break, okay?
- Agador: [In real voice] Okay.
- Armand: What the hell are you serving us?
- Agador: Sweet and sour peasant soup! What you say it's seafood chowder for?
- Armand: What the hell is sweet and sour peasant soup?
- Agador: I don't know, I made it up. I made it up!
- Agador: [in a scene after one in which he was dressed like Lucy] Armand, why don't you let me be in the show?
- Albert: Hmm, Turkish coffee.
- Agador: See!
- [Slaps Armand's arm]
- Agador: My Guatemalaness; my natural heat!
- Armand: Yes, I'm afraid of your heat.
