Stephen Tompkinson credited as playing...
Phil
- Phil: [as Mr. Chuckles] So God was creating man. And his little assistant came up to him and he said: "Hey, we've got all these bodies left, but we're right out of brains, we're right out of hearts and we're right out of vocal chords." And God said: "Fuck it! Sew 'em up anyway. Smack smiles on the faces and make them talk out of their arses." And lo, God created the Tory Party.
- [about God]
- Phil: [as Mr. Chuckles] What's He doing? He can take John Lennon. He can take those three young lads down at Ainsley Pit. He's even thinking of taking my old man. And Margaret bloody Thatcher lives! What's He sodding playing at, eh?
- [the band have finished playing "Danny Boy" outside the hospital when the Ward Sister appears in the doorway]
- Ward Sister: Message from Mr Ormanroyd!
- Phil: He's awake?
- Ward Sister: Yes. He says your Tenor Horn is too soft!
- Women on picket line: [chanting] The miners, united, will never be defeated.
- Andy: Poor old biddies. Don't they know they're pissing in the wind, like the rest of us?
- Ernie: Can they do that, women?
- Andy: What?
- Ernie: Piss in the wind.
- Jim: No, Ernie. That's just the point.
- Ernie: No, but on a nice day, you know, when there's no wind about. They can't - you know - get any direction on it.
- Jim: All right, whatever it is that lasses do that's pointless.
- Andy: Bloody hell. So much to choose from.
- Phil: Fart in a force ten?
- Jim: By god, Phil, you don't half know some funny women.
- Harry: Steady lads. My missus does that.
- All: [guffaw]
- Harry: You daft bastards. Women Against Closure? That is when she's not farting in a force ten!