Edward Henwood credited as playing...
O.D. Loutzenheiser • The Cyclops
- George Noon: [interrupting the trappers' gruesome song about the joys of killing animals] Oh, stop!
- James Humphrey: That's sick!
- Frenchy Cabazon: I agree! Nutter was singing in the wrong key!
- Preston Nutter: No I wasn't! It was Loutzenheiser! I was singing in E-flat minor.
- Frenchy Cabazon: The song's in F-sharp major!
- Shannon Bell: I think they're the same thing. I mean, E flat is the relative major of F sharp.
- Frenchy Cabazon: No it isn't! The relative minor is three half-tones DOWN from the major, not up!
- George Noon: No, it's three down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: But isn't A-sharp in C major?
- Shannon Bell: Wait, are you singing mixolydian scales or something?
- Frenchy Cabazon: A-sharp is tonic to C major! It's the sixth!
- James Humphrey: No, it isn't!
- Israel Swan: Well, it would be like a raised 13th if anything.
- Frenchy Cabazon: Oh well, you guys are just a bunch of loser diggers anyhow!
- James Humphrey: Oh, see, you know we're right!
- The Cyclops: Are you lookin' at my eye?
- Miners: [all scream]
- The Cyclops: Are you lookin' at my *eye*?
- Miners: [various] No. No. No. Not at all.
- The Cyclops: A union army soldier did this to me in the big one. Any of you boys fight for the union army?
- Frank Miller: Shucks no!
- Shannon Bell: Chucky dang darn!
- The Cyclops: So, you the boys been killin' all my sheepies with those traps?
- George Noon: Naw! We just now gots here.
- The Cyclops: Where are you from?
- James Humphrey: Nashville.
- The Cyclops: Well, damn! It's good to see some Southern boys! It's been a long time!
- [sings]
- The Cyclops: Oh, I wish I were in the land of cotton, old times there are not forgotten, look away! Look away! Look Awaaaay...
- [waits for other to finish]
- James Humphrey: ...You stupid yank!
- The Cyclops: You ain't southern boys!
- Miners: [all scream again and run]
- Frenchy Cabazon: You guys don't even know what it *means* to be a trapper.
- Preston Nutter: Yeah! Tell 'em, French.
- Frenchy Cabazon: I can catch a helpless animal,/skin it with my bare hands./I wake up muddy,/and I go to bed bloody,/'cause I'm a trappin' man./I can brave the nastiest weather.
- O.D. Loutzenheiser, Preston Nutter: Weather!
- Frenchy Cabazon: Even if it's 80 below.
- O.D. Loutzenheiser, Preston Nutter: Below!
- Frenchy Cabazon: My pa was an elephant,/but that's irrelevant./My ma was an Eskimo./I eat rabbits' heads for breakfast.
- O.D. Loutzenheiser, Preston Nutter: Breakfast!
- Frenchy Cabazon: With beaver butt on the side.
- O.D. Loutzenheiser, Preston Nutter: The side!
- Frenchy Cabazon: My mind's magnificent and my body no different./I'm full of trapper pride!/Yo-ho!
- Preston Nutter: Yo-ho!
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: Yo-ho!
- Preston Nutter: Rip their fur,/cut their skin with my knife./Yo-ho!
- Preston Nutter: Yo-ho!
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: Yo-ho!
- Frenchy Cabazon: One thing's for sure,/there's nothing like a trappin' life!
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: You ain't trappers.
- Frank Miller: No, we're miners.
- Preston Nutter: You're diggers!
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: Trapper horse ain't supposed to be with no digger!
- James Humphrey: Nice hat!
- Frenchy Cabazon: Say, you gents wanna trade some furs for the trip?
- [takes some dead animals out of a sack]
- Frenchy Cabazon: We got rabbits and beavers.
- Israel Swan: Oh, how horrible!
- James Humphrey: Where'd you guys get all those little dead animals?
- O.D. Loutzenheiser: We're trappers, stupid!
- Alferd Packer: Poor little bunny rabbits.