Deadly Heroes

Gee, what can I say?

Nowadays I'm trying to prevent watching really really bad movies, because it is just a waste of time usually. I saw this movie by accident on TV when cooking and eating my dinner on a lazy saturday night, and so I actually saw this movie without being forced to. But at least I spend my time eating, which is good.

This movie has no qualities, period. It's a complete waste of time for anyone, anywhere. Absolutely incredibly bad acting by basically every single person in the movie, horrificly predictable plot-changes, ridiculous script, and a lobotomized monkey for a director (Yes that's you mr. Golan) make this an insult to anyone with even the slightest bit of brainmatter. I can't believe ANYONE would want to tie his name to this piece of crap.

This is the type of movie that gets aired by the TV networks because it came as an in-the-box gift of a box of cornflakes. I couldn't force myself to watch the rest of it when I was finished eating. And if you're wondering if I got sick of this movie, it's just too lame to get sick from.

This movie gets a 1 only because they won't allow negative scores on this database. If you're curious about this movie, ignore your curiousity and go do something more entertaining, like torturing yourself with a kitchen utensil or rearranging your socks. Trust me.

I have, in all honesty, never seen a movie with worse acting, script and directing, and I have seen very many movies in my life.

This movie does not deserve more words for a comment, neither it needs more. By any means, try to see this movie, try to see the first 20 minutes. If you are human, you'll cry in pain because of the sheer stupidity yielded by this motion picture.

This is one of those good-guys-on-a-daring-mission-against-impossible-odds movies that offers the expected bursts of violent action just often enough to maintain the interest of its intended audience. Remember when Michael Pare showed promise back in the underrated "Streets of Fire?" He's come down from those days but still makes a suitable hero and is keeping himself in shape. Note how good he looks in the torture scene where he's stripped to his undershorts, tied against a wall, and subjected to punches, kicks, and a few electrical shocks. Titillatingly, some of these shocks are applied directly to his nipples though the contact is just a flash and can't compare to the slow, agonized way in which Steve Durham's nipples were "fried" in "Born American." Pare's undershorts, alas, keep off-limits the more sensitive and vulnerable areas of his male anatomy -- a bit of prudishness which doesn't make much sense when the whole idea is to subject him to the greatest possible pain.

Michael Pare and Jan-Michael Vincent star as two commandos who look to fight it out against middle eastern terrorists who have hi-jacked a bus as well as kidnapped Pare's wife in this highly unlikely tale. Someone wrote me to ask what makes a guilty pleasure different from a laughable bomb. I had never thought about it but it had to be that the movie was goofy yet competently made, where as a laughable bomb is just goofy. Deadly Heroes is a laughable bomb because the movie starts with hijackers taking over a bus with plastic guns (I'm serious) I'm not even going to go into what it takes to actually make something penetrate the skin and kill, mainly black powder and the pressure which is highly explosive. Indeed one can't think of worse thing to make out of plastic. The movie actually proceeds to get even dumber as Billy Drago surfaces as a the head honcho villain. Indeed it is weird but it is only Jan-Michael Vincent who seems suited to his part. Where as the rest of the cast (Even the usually respectable Michael Pare) are uniformly bad. Still this is hilarious to watch and somehow this clunker plays on TV every summer for some unfathomable reason.

* out of 4-(Bad)

I thought that this movie here, Deadly Heroes was actually a decent movie. The casting was a different assembled one and how many movies does Billy Drago, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Michael Paré star in a film all together? Three unique actors all in one movie! Drago played a great and unusual psycho here in this movie which I think he is a great bad guy actor! Vincent played a good part and Paré was good as usual. Galit Giat who played the female baddie was really good. The action in the movie is good and the film starts off with a bang. It may seem like a different Delta Force movie since Billy Drago plays another and very similar psychotic drug lord but only this time his hair is shorter and a different color. I don't think that this film is bad at all and in fact I was quite interested through out the flick. Give this one a chance especially if you are a fan of the actors I mentioned above because I recommend it!