Demolition High

I caught this on TV one day when I was bored and waiting on some people. The movie kept my attention the entire time because it was so god awful. Corey Haim in a Bruce Willis "Die Hard" type role, Alan Thicke playing a hardened police chief, Dick Van Patten as a general, and a bunch of goofy terrorists who just happen to have as super model type as one of them. How can you go wrong? The special effects are lame, especially the guided missile that looks like a rocket model kit that you build at home only on a bigger scale.

This movie is terrible, make no mistake about it. But it's so terrible that you can't help but laugh and watch to see just how cheesy it's going to get. It's actually quite entertaining.

To get started, I gotta say I love my one-line summary. It works on so many levels. OK, with that out of the way it's true that this low budget "Die Hard in a high school" is moderately amusing, but even moderately amusing is like finding gold as far as Jim Wynorski movies of the past decade or so go. Poor Jim's last really good film was "Hard to Die" and that was 1990. He made three films in 1996: This, "Vampirella", and "The Assault" so trust me when I say nowadays to paraphrase Meatloaf, ONE outta THREE for Mr. Wynorki ain't bad. Not to over-hype this movie as it's still not as good as his movies from his heyday of the '80's, just that I'm glad that this film isn't a total turd.

My Grade: C

Where I saw It: Showtime

Terrorists take over a high school and hold everyone hostage, but the one thing they didn't count on was troublemaker bad boy Corey Haim! Pretty much "Die Hard" in a high school with Haim as John McClane, Alan Thicke as Sgt. Powell, and Dick Van Patten as the government man. Brought to you by wildly prolific hack director Jim Wynorski, who has over a hundred directing credits, including some respectable trash, such as "Chopping Mall" and "Big Bad Mama II," but mostly less respectable trash (i.e. "The Witches of Breastwick" and "The Breastford Wives"). "Demolition High" is on the more respectable side since it has so many name actors, which besides Haim, Thicke, and Van Patten includes Gerrit Graham ("Used Cars" "Phantom of the Paradise") as the principal and familiar character actors George 'Buck' Flower ("Escape from New York" "They Live" "Maniac Cop") and Jeff Kober ("X-Files" "Tank Girl" "The First Power") as the lead terrorist. Dumb and unmemorable, but if you dug this film, there's a sequel "Demolition University" which I have not seen. Also, if Corey Feldman were on hand I would have added another 1/2 star. FUN FACT! "Demolition High" is referenced in Paul Thomas Anderson's "Magnolia" by a character who is trying to get a part in a movie with Alan Thicke and Corey Haim.

This movie which rehashes the tired plot of terrorists taking over a high school, has some of the worst special effects I've seen outside an Ed Wood feature. Alan Thicke ("Growing Pains" Dad) uses profanity, so that's kind of funny. Wait! This isn't a comedy...never mind.

The usual B movie slash and suspense. Plot is weak and full of holes - as are most of the dead terrorists after Corey Haim finishes with them.

Why not blow up the xxxxxx while it sits on the xxxx???????

Too easy.