Malik Sealy credited as playing...
Stacy Patton
- Edwina "Eddie" Franklin: Hey, Patton, pass the ball! What are you, the black hole of basketball? Come on!
- Joe Sparks: (to Stacy) You going to let her call you a black ho?
- Darren Taylor: Man, a HOLE.
- Stacy Patton: What's a black hole?
- Polynice, Olden: A black hole is a theoretical object in space. It is so dense that matter collapses... and light itself cannot escape. (shoots his free throw)
- Terry Hastings: I knew that.
- Joe Sparks: (to Stacy) I don't get it, man. Is she "The Gipper" or not?
- Stacy Patton: Man, you sure are white!
- Edwina "Eddie" Franklin: I thought this was a professional basketball team. Obviously, I'm out of my mind. I'm in here with rap artists and pitchmen, line-slingers, and ho-mongers, and ASSHOLES.
- Darren Taylor: Eddie, please!
- Edwina "Eddie" Franklin: No! Knicks, please, Preacher! Do you remember that people pay to come and see you guys? People spent $2,000 on season tickets up in the nosebleed sections because they think you guys are worthwhile. And what about the little kids? Oh, forget about them, huh? The little kids who actually think you guys are heroes - stupid them!
- Darren Taylor: Two thousand dollars for season tickets- that makes you think.
- Stacy Patton: Yeah, homegirl had some shitty seats.
- Coach John Bailey: [during the pre-game pep talk] Let's remember we got a game to win! Where's Taylor?
- Carl Zimmer: He's praying.
- Coach John Bailey: Well, tell him to pray over here!
- Carl Zimmer: Darren!
- [Taylor joins the huddle]
- Coach John Bailey: Come on, guys, let's go! Hastings! Hastings! Wake up! If you're open, take the jumper, if not, look down low for Ivan!
- Ivan Radovadovitch: I-van.
- Coach John Bailey: Whatever.
- Ivan Radovadovitch: Ivan make basket.
- Stacy Patton: Whoa, whoa, whoa, if Stacey Patton don't shoot, Stacey Patton don't play.
- Nate Wilson: Man, quit referring to yourself in the third person and pay attention, asshole.
- Darren Taylor: Hey, man, watch the language!
- Stacy Patton: Back off, pal!
- Coach John Bailey: Hey, hey, hey, Patton, I'm not warning you again, okay?
- Ivan Radovadovitch: Ivan make basket!
- Carl Zimmer: Excusee me, Coach, I'd look for Jamal.
- Coach John Bailey: Right, right. Hey, Logo-head, what are you looking at?
- Terry Hastings: Nate, she used my tickets on her divorce lawyer.
- Coach John Bailey: Excuse me, would you mind getting in the game here?
- Referee: Hey, let's play ball.