Femalien

Vermont native Venesa Talor is stunningly gorgeous in this 90's skin flick. Venesa appeared in Playboy College Girls issue in 1996, and this movie followed later that year. The dialogue is often humorous, but it is delivered poorly. The cast is no one of note. The effects look like they were made on Windows 95 (they probably were). But none of that is why you'd watch it. In FEMALIEN, Kara (Talor) is an alien sent to observe human physical interaction, as her species no longer needs such things. Kara's quest gives her the chance to get naked on several occasions, have sex with a guy, watch other couples get it on, help a new friend face a greedy landlord, and then have lesbian sex with the aforementioned new friend. I wish I could say it was deeper than that, but it isn't. MOVIE RATING: 3 STARS. VENESA RATING: 10 STARS.

The title was enough for me to rent this movie "Femalien." When you hear that, you think really bad 1950's sci-fi pick with lots of bad dialogue and scantily clad women, right? Well, Femalien really falls short of that. It's not a B horror movie. It's not even a good bad movie. What it turned out to be is a really bad soft core porn. The dialogue tries to be humorous, but it's poorly delivered as well as being poorly written. The film also tries to be seductive, but fails in that as well, leaving me wanting the real stuff. Sure you see lots of well placed-boobs, but all the flacid penises cancel any iota of excitement you may get from that. Blockbuster, I want my money back.

Emmanuelle went to space in the 90s - but that wasn't enough. The Aliens really want to know what it feels like to have sex. While music is playing in the background - yes it happens. So they do send this good looking woman to us - and she is quite the voyeur. But she has to study us, right? Of course, of course - also important to paste and copy (no pun intended).

If you don't mind that or rather if you want it (again no pun intended), the movie really gives it to you ... I think I'll stop apologizing. The people here don't seem to care about their non acting abilities either - no excuse or apology given.

I skipped most erotic scenes, which made the running time quite ... well it shrunk away. It went as fast as travelling is with beam functions. There is not much story, but a lot of heterosexual romp or whateveer you would call it.

I'm surprised how scientific people are getting with the comments. When you watch beautiful women like Vanesa Talor (Oh maaannnnnn!!!!) totally naked in both steamy guy-girl scenes and steamy girl-girl scenes (The climax: Terrific!!!) how much more are you asking for? I think people were commenting on the cheesy dialogue and miniscule production values. How high are your standards when it comes to softcore porn? As long as the movie is done in a tasteful manner (I can't stand hardcore porn!), like this one, there really isn't much to complain about. Plus, Surrender Cinema almost always has the BEST-looking vixens around. I wouldn't be surprised if Hugh Hefner auditions some of the ladies. Vanesa couldn't be a better choice. She has a smoking body!

Aside from the girl-girl climax with Vanesa and Jacqueline Lovell, the highlight would have to be the "special" lingere fashion show. Let's just say the women don't stay in the lingere very long. I'll leave it right there. And I love the theme song. I don't know why, it just sets a great erotic tone.

For fans of skin flicks...this is among the elite.

My score: 9 (out of 10)

Much like Surrender Cinema's many other titles, this is really a porno, toned down just enough so that it's not really a porno. This one, however, is Surrender's flagship title.

The main character, Vanesa Taylor, is incredibly hot. All the women are in fact. The director, Cybil Richards, shoots the numerous sex scenes very well. The "orgasms" are great. The plot? It's threadbare, which is good. You don't buy movies like this for plot.

And of course, no review of Femalien would be complete without commenting on the final girl/girl scene between Vanesa and Jacqueline Lovell. It is indeed one of the best lesbian scenes I've ever seen, putting most hardcore stuff to shame.

Femalien is a great bargain and delivers more quality than most movies costing 2 or 3 times what it retails for. Very recommended.