Robert Pastorelli: Johnny C

Eraser

Johnny C

[Johnny C is working as a bartender in a drag club. John comes to see him]
Johnny C: I got one question: was it your idea to hook me up with the Village People here?
John: Well, you're safe, aren't you?
Johnny C: Well, from the mob, yeah. I mean no self-respecting wiseguy would ever be caught dead in a joint like this. Only... do me one favor. Don't let it out that I'm straight, all right? I don't wanna break any hearts or nothing.
John: Trust me.

John: Do you remember when you told me that if I ever needed anything, I could come to you?
Johnny C: Yes.
John: Well, I need your help.
Johnny C: Wait, you want my help?
John: Yes... right now.
Johnny C: You got it!
[to the bartender]
Johnny C: Evan! Look, cover me at the bar for a few seconds. I gotta go home and help out a friend here.
Evan the Bartender: [looking at John] Who is he? He looks rough!
Johnny C: Please, don't start. It's not what you think.
John: I'm sorry, do you two need a moment alone?
Johnny C: We're fine, thanks.
John: Just an idea.
Johnny C: Evan here just... worries about me. He and I...
[John smirks at Johnny insinuating what it means]
Johnny C: Don't ask!

Sal: We heard you got whacked.
Johnny C: Yeah, must have been some other guy.
Tony Two Toes: Yeah? Was it some other guy who ratted out Vincenzo Canelli?
Johnny C: Hey, Canelli's a piece of shit.
Tony Two Toes: I got no love for Canelli, either. But you crossed the line, Johnny.
Johnny C: Hey, I'm still here.
Tony Two Toes: Nah, that don't matter. What you did was wrong, John.
John: [entering] No, what he did got a drug dealer and his poison off the streets.
Tony Two Toes: Whose da tree trunk?

[after killing the thugs sent to murder Johnny C, John arranges their bodies on the lawn of his house, shoots them with a silenced pistol, then puts the guns in their hands]
John: They killed you, then they turned on each other.
Johnny C: Right. Those sons of bitches...

Sal: [referring to a sniper perched atop a crane] You think I can hit that guy from here?
Johnny C: Give it a rest, Sal. You couldn't hit the ground even if you fell on it.

Nurse: Oh my God! Terrorists!
Johnny C: Terror? I'll show you some freakin' terror! Get your ass up here, I'll jump-start it!

Johnny C: You want me to help you break into Cyrez?
John: Yeah.
Johnny C: What, are you shitting me? When you said you needed my help, I thought you wanted me to help you move a sofa or something.
John: Pull over, up ahead.
Johnny C: Alright, I'm gonna help you out here... All we are gonna need is some tanks, a couple of rocket launchers, and a set of balls like, uh... the King of Bayonne.

Tony Two Toes: [counting the union rep payee envelopes] Hey, Mikey. You're one payment short.
Mikey: Oh, that's Louis. He didn't pay.
Tony Two Toes: He didn't pay? Why?
Mikey: He needed a few extra days to come up with the money, so I told him it was okay.
Tony Two Toes: You going soft on me, Mikey? What exactly did he say?
Johnny C: He said, "Tell that fat fuck, Tony Two Toes, I ain't payin' another dime!"
Tony Two Toes: I know that voice... but it can't be him, unless he's a ghost.
Johnny C: [walks into room] Boo.

Johnny C: [while Posing as a Pizza Delivery guy and being pinned to the wall by Cyrez Guards] Hey! I've got a bad heart, but a very good lawyer!