Michael Parks credited as playing...
Texas Ranger Earl McGraw
- Earl McGraw: Well, it's been one long goddamn hot miserable shit-ass fuckin' day every inch of the way.
- [first lines]
- Pete Bottoms: Hey, Earl
- Earl McGraw: Yes, sir.
- Pete Bottoms: What do ya know?
- Earl McGraw: Well, it's a hot goddam day
- Earl McGraw: Nadine over at the Blue Chip got sort of sick since she got that goddam Mongoloid boy of hers workin' the grill. I mean, that fuckin' idiot doesn't know rat shit from Rice Krispies. I eat breakfast about nine o'clock and I'm pukin' up pigs in a blanket like a sick fuckin' dog by ten-thirty.
- Pete Bottoms: Isn't there a law or somethin' against retards servin' food to the public?
- Earl McGraw: Well, if there ain't, there ought to be. I mean, who in the hell knows what's goin' on in the mind of a goddamned Mongoloid? Nadine should've hit that boy in the head and sold the fuckin' milk.
- Pete Bottoms: You could sue the shit out of her, you know that? That kid belongs under a circus tent, not flippin' burgers.
- Earl McGraw: Jesus H. Christ, Pete. When you gonna learn that microwave food'll kill you faster than a bullet? I mean, them damn burritos ain't good for nothing but a hippie, when he's high on weed.
- Pete Bottoms: Hey, Earl.
- Earl McGraw: Yes sir?
- Pete Bottoms: What do you know?
- Earl McGraw: Well... It's a hot goddamned day.
- Pete Bottoms: Well, I haven't felt it a bit. I've been inside with the air conditioner blasting all day long.
- Earl McGraw: Oh, is that right?
- Pete Bottoms: That's right.
- Earl McGraw: Don't you break for lunch or nothing?
- Pete Bottoms: I'm by myself, ate my lunch out of the microwave.
- Earl McGraw: Jesus H. Christ, Pete. When you gonna learn that microwave food will kill you faster than a bullet? And them damned burritos ain't good for nothing but a hippie when he's high on weed. Let me have a bottle of that Jack, will you?
- Pete Bottoms: Yeah.
- Earl McGraw: I think I'm gonna get tanked tonight
- Pete Bottoms: What's the matter?
- Earl McGraw: [sighs] Oh, hell. Been one long goddamned, hot, miserable, shit-ass, fucking day every inch of the way. First off, Nadine over Blue Chip got sort of sick. Says she got that goddamn mongoloid boy who's working the grill. I mean, that fucking idiot doesn't know rat shit from Rice Krispies. I eat breakfast 'bout 9:00. And I'm puking up pigs in a blanket like a sick, fucking dog by 10:30.
- Pete Bottoms: Isn't there a law or something against retards serving food to the public?
- Earl McGraw: Well, if there ain't, there ought to be. I mean, who in the hell knows what's going on in the mind of a God damn mongoloid? Nadine shoulda hit that boy in the head and sold the fucking mill.
- Pete Bottoms: You could sue the shit out of her, you know that? That kid belongs under a circus tent not flipping burgers. You could own that fuckin' place.
- Earl McGraw: Oh. Shit, Pete. What would I do with that grease pit? Besides, Nadine's got a cross to bear. I mean, taking care of that potato head. I guess you heard about that shit up in Abilene. Bank robbery?
- Pete Bottoms: That's all that's been on the box all day. They killed some people, didn't they?
- Earl McGraw: Yeah, killed four rangers. Three cops, one civilian. Took a lady bank teller hostage with them. Supposed to be headed for the border which would bring them right my way. Get my hands on them crazy sick, fucking bastards, it's payback time. I mean... . Well, we'll get 'em. We'll get 'em.
- Pete Bottoms: Well, I don't doubt it.
- Earl McGraw: Well, I gotta drain my lizard. Mind if I used your commode?
- Pete Bottoms: Knock yourself out.
- Earl McGraw: Thank you.
- Pete Bottoms: You're welcome.
- Earl McGraw: [comes out of the bathroom] Yeah. Be back at it tomorrow. Tonight I'm gonna sit in front of that box and get higher than a Georgia pine. How much you want for that hooch, Pete?
- Pete Bottoms: Oh, $6.50.
- Earl McGraw: Jesus Christ. You bucking for early retirement?
- Pete Bottoms: Shit, yeah.
- [Richie shoots Earl in the back of the head]
- Earl McGraw: Well, I gotta drain my lizard. Mind if I use your commode?
- Pete Bottoms: Knock yourself out.