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Patricia Arquette, Téa Leoni, and Ben Stiller in Flirting with Disaster (1996)

Lily Tomlin: Mary Schlichting

Flirting with Disaster

Lily Tomlin credited as playing...

Mary Schlichting

Quotes5

  • Mary Schlichting: We love you very much. If you were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would still love you.
  • Mary Schlichting: How do you feel?
  • Agent Paul: Vivid. I'm seeing colors I don't want to see.
  • Mary Schlichting: You apologize!
  • Lonnie Schlichting: I'm sorry.
  • Mary Schlichting: Sorry for what?
  • Lonnie Schlichting: I'm sorry that I put windowpane in Mel's quail, and I'm sorry that you ate it.
  • Mary Schlichting: Oh, he was such a cute baby.
  • Richard Schlichting: It would've been kinda nice... if he had, like, a third eye right there, you know? You know, you know, a third eye is a symbol of enlightenment. You know, he's not- he's not, he's not getting it. He's...
  • Mary Schlichting: Mel... identity is nothing but a mental construct.
  • Mel: Mental construct?
  • Richard Schlichting: Have you ever read any Tibetan Buddhism, like Chaos theory?
  • Mel: You made LSD? Is that what you're saying?
  • Richard Schlichting: We made LSD.
  • Mary Schlichting: Yes, yes. We made acid.
  • Richard Schlichting: And we gave it out to people who needed it. You know that there are hundreds of pharmaceutical executives in this country... that are selling drugs, FDA approved drugs.
  • Mary Schlichting: On the open market.
  • Richard Schlichting: Over the counter with incredible side...
  • Mary Schlichting: Horrible side effects.
  • Richard Schlichting: Terrible side effects. And these people are not in jail.
  • Mary Schlichting: They're not in prison anywhere.
  • Richard Schlichting: They're, they're, they're in country clubs or playing golf. They're having drinks.
  • Mary Schlichting: They're running the country, Mel.
  • Richard Schlichting: You know, LSD shouldn't be a felony in the first place.
  • Mary Schlichting: It's not addictive.
  • Richard Schlichting: It doesn't lead to violent crime.
  • Mary Schlichting: It's really the only hope for the species.
  • Mel: Did you take acid while you were pregnant with me?
  • Mary Schlichting: You're not gonna bring that thing up, are you?
  • Richard Schlichting: You know the stuff they tell you about, you know, chromosome damage and all that stuff?
  • Mel: Yeah, I do!
  • Richard Schlichting: That's government propaganda.
  • Mary Schlichting: Total propaganda.
  • Richard Schlichting: They just want to get a hold of your head, that's all.
  • Mary Schlichting: I was relieved, though, when you came out in the hospital and you only had one head.
  • Mel: Very funny.
  • Richard Schlichting: [laughing] She- She kills me!

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