Kyle Howard credited as playing...
Grover Beindorf
- Gregory Alan 'Grover' Beindorf: Remember when you said I should lock my parents in the closet?
- Matt Finley: Yeah...
- Gregory Alan 'Grover' Beindorf: Well, I did! Only I didn't lock them in the closet, I locked them in the basement. Only, I didn't actually lock them in, I nailed the door shut. And I told them I wasn't letting them out until they worked out their problems.
- Matt Finley: You're kidding right?
- Gregory Alan 'Grover' Beindorf: No Matt, I swear, I swear... it was like, I had to do it.
- Matt Finley: Dude, you kidnapped your parents? Jeez!
- T.J. Krupp: My dad treats my mom like dirt.
- Matt Finley: And my dad's coming up on his second year with Louise.
- Gregory Alan 'Grover' Beindorf: So?
- Matt Finley: So he always divorces in his second year, you know that, it's like clockwork.
- Janet Beindorf: [hears pounding up above] What's he doing now?
- Ned Beindorf: I don't know. Grover, what're you doing?
- Grover: I'm nailing the door shut.
- Ned Beindorf: He's nailing the door shut. If you...
- Janet Beindorf, Ned Beindorf: WHAT?
- Grover: You guys are going to stay down there a while.
- Janet Beindorf: [runs up to the basement door] He's really doing it! He's nailing it shut!
- Ned Beindorf: Grover, stop it right now! What you're doing is very bad for the wood!
- Grover: We'll pay for the wood!
- Ned Beindorf: They got my tools!
- Janet Beindorf: And the phone's gone too!
- [Ned pulls back the curtains]
- Janet Beindorf: Oh my God!
- Ned Beindorf: Boarded up the windows?
- Grover: We boarded up the frames and filled the bases with cement. I used the cement that's been sitting in the garage for the past three years.
- Gregory Alan 'Grover' Beindorf: Your parents are here because you guys said they needed help. Now you could care less, you're too busy playing football or watching TV or having some party. I have news for you: this was my idea, and it's not a game, and it's not a party, and I'm not doing it to impress anybody. Now you got that, Matt? Or are you too busy kissing up to T.J.?
- T.J. Krupp: [grabs Grover] What's wrong with that?
- Gregory Alan 'Grover' Beindorf: Go ahead... beat me up.
- T.J. Krupp: [setting a trip wire trap for Chief Rocco] Hey, that old fart still thinks he's the chief of police, he's dangerous, alright?
- Gregory Alan 'Grover' Beindorf: But I still don't see why we need this.
- Ned Beindorf: Why did you have to argue?
- Janet Beindorf: Why did you have to say I was critical?
- Ned Beindorf: Because you are! Grover, are you drugs?
- Grover: [laughs] Yeah, I'm on heroin and Stacey's on crack.
- Ned Beindorf: [to Janet, smugly] Happy now?
- Janet Beindorf: Oh he's kidding,
- [serious tone, banging on door]
- Janet Beindorf: You better be joking, do you hear me? Gregory Alan Beindorf! Do you hear me? What is wrong with you?
- Grover: You guys are splitting up! That's what's wrong with me! Now get down there and start solving your problems.
- Stacy Beindorf: Good morning, Chief Rocco!
- Chief Rocco: Aren't your parents going to work today?
- Grover: Uh, no, they got the bug that's been going around.
- Chief Rocco: I didn't know there was one.
- Stacy Beindorf: Yeah it's really bad... especially for old people.
- Janet Beindorf: [Janet sees Cosmo chewing a pillow on the couch] Grover? Grover? Grover?
- Grover: Yeah, Mom?
- Janet Beindorf: Can I talk to you upstairs, please? Grover, whose dog is that?
- Grover: Matt's.
- Janet Beindorf: This has gotten out of hand. And it's very tense down here, especially between your father and Mr. Krupp.
- Grover: So what? Tell them to start getting along. They're adults.
- Janet Beindorf: You know how your father gets. He's not gonna back down, especially when his pride is hurt. Honey, please, just let us out.
- Grover: I can't do that.
- Janet Beindorf: Well, at least give us some food. Something's gotta bend here. I know these people are your hostages, but they're also guests in our home, and we don't treat guests this way. So why don't you make a meatloaf. There's some turkey in the fridge. You can use Aunt Mary's recipe...
- Grover: Recipe... yeah, I know Mom. I've made meatloaf and lasagna, pot roast. You don't have to leave notes for me, or hide them in my lunch, or laminate lists for me. I'm not a kid anymore.
- Janet Beindorf: I know.