Barbra Streisand credited as playing...
Rose Morgan
- Rose Morgan: This thing that we call a wedding ceremony is really the final scene of the fairy tale. They never tell you what happens after. They never tell you that Cinderella drove the Prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle, cause she missed her day job, right?
- Rose Morgan: I tell you what I envy about people in love - I'd love it if someone knew me, I mean really knew me. What I like, what I'm afraid of, what kind of toothpaste I use.
- Rose Morgan: When my date takes me home and kisses me good night, if I don't hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him.
- Hannah Morgan: Rose, why don't you go put the coffee on?
- Rose Morgan: Mother, I made dinner, why don't you put the coffee on?
- Hannah Morgan: I raised two daughters, I buried a husband-I've made my coffee.
- Rose Morgan: What, what? Yes, I have breasts. They cannot, however, be the subject of one of your papers.
- Rose Morgan: Look at me, I'm a grown woman in a prom dress.
- Claire: Oh, please. You look adorable.
- Rose Morgan: Adorable? I look like an over-the-hill Barbie Doll. It doesn't fit right, it's too tight.
- Claire: Too many Sno Balls.
- Rose Morgan: Why didn't you pick something looser and in my color?
- Claire: Because Maids of Honor don't wear black.
- Claire: Now you listen to me!
- Rose Morgan: Take it easy, Claire!
- Claire: Now, I want you to get up there and remember that this is MY day... and if you don't behave yourself, I'm gonna have your birth certificate blown up as a Christmas card!
- Hannah Morgan: I should never have encouraged you to speak.
- Gregory Larkin: Rose, I love you and I... I want to be married to you.
- Rose Morgan: Gregory, You are married to me.
- Gregory Larkin: Uh... that's right!
- Rose Morgan: I just can't eat a greasy cheesburger in the middle of the day anymore. Doesn't it bloat you?
- Doris: Bloat me? No, it doesn't bloat me! Actually I thought it went real well with the spare ribs I had for breakfast.
- Rose Morgan: Mom.
- Hannah Morgan: What?
- Rose Morgan: How did it feel?
- Hannah Morgan: What?
- Rose Morgan: Being beautiful?
- Hannah Morgan: [pause]
- Rose Morgan: No, I mean it. How did it feel having people look at you with such admiration? Looking at yourself in the mirror with such appreciation? How did that feel?
- Hannah Morgan: It was wonderful.
- Rose Morgan: I'll bet.
- Gregory Larkin: You don't use make-up, do you?
- Rose Morgan: What's the point? I'd still look like me, only in color.
- Claire: Your hair looks good, the curls work. Why don't you get a perm?
- Rose Morgan: I tried that once, I looked like Shirley Temple on crack.
- Hannah Morgan: Then why are you going to all this trouble unless that something might *happen* with this one?
- Rose Morgan: Mother, would you stop calling him "this one", it sounds like you're picking out a lobster!
- Rose Morgan: I don't feel anything, isn't that great! I never thought about how *I* would feel, I only ever thought about you. I only wanted to make you happy, I never thought I was good enough for you.
- Alex: Oh but you are good enough for me, Rose, you are!
- Rose Morgan: I know, I know, but Alex, you're not good enough for me!