Albert Brooks credited as playing...
John Henderson
- John Henderson: [upon eating very old orange sherbet] Blaaah! Oh God, this is horribly old! This tastes like an orange foot!
- Carl: Maybe you shouldn't get married anymore.
- John Henderson: I want kids.
- Carl: Well, adopt.
- John Henderson: I want to pass down my seed.
- Carl: Masturbate in the garden.
- John Henderson: I like my cheese in the ounces. When they start weighing as much as a Fiat, I get worried.
- Lawyer: Now this being your second divorce, Mr. Henderson, I'm sure you're familiar with the procedure, but your wife, uh... ex-wife, should know it would be wise not to leave the state for a few weeks until it's finalized.
- Karen Henderson: I'm not planning to leave the state.
- John Henderson: No. She just left me. She had nothing against the land.