Jada Pinkett Smith credited as playing...
Carla Purty
- Professor Carla Purty: I just had to come over and introduce myself because I've been following your work for many years and I'm a big fan!
- Sherman Klump: Well, thank you very much! I'm fatter, er, *flattered* that you've been following my work the way you have.
- [the three ladies are in the vanity room freshening up after having dinner with Buddy Love]
- Sexy Girl: He talked to me first!
- Sexy Girl: Hey, I'm the one with the 'gluteus minimus'.
- Sexy Girl: Will you guys just chill? He said he could handle all three of us. And with a name like Buddy Love, I bet he can.
- [Carla stands out the doorway listening to them]
- Buddy Love: [next scene, lobby, holds a room key] Carla, are you ready to go upstairs?
- [Carla slaps him very hard in the face]
- Buddy Love: [smiles] I guess not!
- [Carla walks away in disgust]
- Buddy Love: [stops her] Whoa, hey, where are you going? What's your problem?
- Professor Carla Purty: [points at the three girls] They're my problem! And you can handle all three of them, huh?
- Buddy Love: Oh, well, I thought after dinner you might want to have a little group activity. I mean, after all, Buddy does have a lot of love to give!
- Professor Carla Purty: Oh, you are one sick, twisted FREAK!
- [Carla storms out]
- Buddy Love: Oh, come on, Carla what's the--hey! Hey! Go on, leave, there's more titties over here anyway!
- [the three girls giggle with Buddy]
- Buddy Love: Think I want them two titties, I have six titties. I had two titties, now I have six. That's multiplication.
- Professor Carla Purty: [about Reggie] I hate this guy. I hate this guy, he is so obnoxious.
- Buddy Love: [ignores her] Give the nigger a chance.
- Professor Carla Purty: Sherman, is that you? Are you all right?
- Sherman Klump: [comes out hiding handcuffs and lingerie hanging from the door] Oh, hi, Carla, hi!
- Professor Carla Purty: [notices the whole house a mess] Did you have a party last night?
- Sherman Klump: No, my cleaning lady is, uh--cleaning lady's sick, so I got to clean up myself.
- Professor Carla Purty: I see. You sure she didn't die?
- [Carla and Sherman laugh at this until Sherman hears a toilet flushing coming from one of the ladies Buddy had slept with]
- Sherman Klump: Look, I'm kind of embarrassed about the way how my place is looking. So, why don't I clean up and get back with you a little later.
- Professor Carla Purty: No, no, no, Sherman, Sherman, I need to talk to you, NOW. And it's about Buddy.
- Sherman Klump: [beginning to realize this] He hasn't been misbehaving, has he?
- Professor Carla Purty: He's an egotistical PIG and I wish I never met him. But, Sherman, I owe you a very big apology.
- Sherman Klump: You owe me an apology?
- Professor Carla Purty: Yes. Last night, I was only trying to help, I insisted that Buddy Love speak to Harlan Hartley. He took ALL the credit for your research. Now Dean Richmond...
- Sexy Girl: Where's Buddy?
- [Carla and Sherman see one of the ladies Buddy slept with wearing a camisole and standing outside Sherman's bedroom door looking suspicious and upset]
- Sherman Klump: [nervously] Oh...
- Professor Carla Purty: Buddy came here?
- Sherman Klump: [chuckles nervously] No!
- Professor Carla Purty: So, what's this? You guys--you guys share girls?
- Sherman Klump: Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Professor Carla Purty: I guess I was next on the list.
- Sherman Klump: Oh, no, Carla, you don't understand!
- Professor Carla Purty: [now furious] I cannot believe I came over here feeling sorry for you!
- [Carla storms out]
- Sherman Klump: Carla, will you please just listen to me? I assure you, it is not what it appears to be!
- Professor Carla Purty: And you're no better than he is! You are just as sick as Buddy, and I don't want to see YOU or HIM again!
- Sherman Klump: Carla, please just listen! Carla!
- [Carla slams the door and Sherman sees a little note on it]
- Sherman Klump: [shocked] Eviction notice? 'Violation of noise ordinance'?