Nicolas Cage credited as playing...
Stanley Goodspeed
- John Mason: [while on the stairs leading to the prison morgue] Are you sure you're ready for this?
- Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
- John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Carla *was* the prom queen.
- John Mason: Really?
- Stanley Goodspeed: [cocks his gun] Yeah.
- [after Mason has killed a Marine, the corpse's foot twitches]
- Stanley Goodspeed: [while in the prison morgue] You've been around a lot of corpses. Is that normal?
- John Mason: What, the feet thing?
- Stanley Goodspeed: Yeah, the feet thing.
- John Mason: Yeah, it happens.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Well I'm having a hard time concentrating. Can you do something about it?
- John Mason: Like what, kill him again?
- Stanley Goodspeed: [to Mason] Look, I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a little glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known, so what say you cut me some FRIGGIN' SLACK?
- John Mason: [in the interrogation room] I want a suite, a shower, a shave, the feel of a suit.
- Stanley Goodspeed: May I also suggest a haircut?
- John Mason: Am I out of style?
- Stanley Goodspeed: Unless you're a 20 year old guitarist from Seattle. It's a grunge thing.
- Stanley Goodspeed: [in the lower lighthouse] Listen, I think we got started off on the wrong foot. Stan Goodspeed, FBl. Uh - Let's talk music. Do you like the Elton John song, "Rocket Man"?
- Captain Darrow: I don't like soft-ass shit.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, you - Oh, oh. Oh. Well, I only bring it up because, uh, it's you. You're the Rocket Man.
- [Goodspeed fires a rocket at him]
- Stanley Goodspeed: [while in the tunnels underneath Alcatraz] You enjoying this?
- John Mason: Well, it's certainly more enjoyable than my average day... reading philosophy, avoiding gang rape in the washrooms... though, it's less of a problem these days. Maybe I'm losing my sex appeal.
- Stanley Goodspeed: [while in a cell on Alcatraz] You broke out, let me see if I can get this straight, down the incinerator chute, on the mine car, through the tunnels to the power plant, under the steam engine - that was really cool by the way - and into the cistern through the intake pipe. But how, in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE!... did you get out of your cell? I only ask because in our current situation, well, it could prove to be useful information. *Maybe*!
- [Mason does not answer, but opens up his prison door with an improvised tool]
- Stanley Goodspeed: [Goodspeed hears noise from Mason's door opening] Mason?
- [to Goodspeed's surprise, his own door suddenly opens]
- John Mason: Trade secrets, my son.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since.
- FBI Director Womack: What do you know about V.X. gas?
- Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Liquid; failed pesticide; discovered by mistake in 1952. Uhh, actually, it's kind of like champagne that way. The Franciscan monks thought they were making white wine. Somehow the bottle carbonated. Voila, champagne, and uhh, then the whole thing...
- FBI Director Womack: The gas, Dr. Goodspeed.
- Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: It's very, very horrible sir. It's one of those things we wish we could disinvent. This isn't a training exercise, is it?
- John Mason: [in the interrogation room] Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes.
- Stanley Goodspeed: "I fear the Greeks even when they bring gifts."
- John Mason: Ah, an educated man.
- [Stanley gives a modest wave]
- John Mason: That, of course, rules out the possibility of you being a field agent.
- Stanley Goodspeed: [while in a cell on Alcatraz] Why didn't you just tell them where the microfilm was and create a solution?
- John Mason: The moment they had the microfilm, they'd suicide me. Some solution.
- Stanley Goodspeed: [upon entering the interrogation room] Hi, I'm an agent with the federal... FBI... Well, my, I'm Stanley Goodspeed.
- John Mason: But of course you are.
- Agent Paxton: Well, at least he got his name right.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Of course I am.
- John Mason: And you have an emergency.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Right.
- John Mason: And you need my help.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Exactly right.
- John Mason: Coffee.
- Stanley Goodspeed: No, I'm fine, thank you.
- John Mason: Offer me coffee.
- John Mason: [Mason and Goodspeed are defusing a poison gas rocket in the prison morgue] What exactly does this stuff do?
- Stanley Goodspeed: If the rocket renders it aerosol, it could take out the entire city of people.
- John Mason: Really? And what happens if you drop one?
- Stanley Goodspeed: Happily, it'd just wipe out you and me.
- John Mason: How?
- Stanley Goodspeed: It's a cholinesterase inhibitor. Stops the brain from sending nerve messages down the spinal cord within thirty seconds. Any epidermal exposure or inhalation and you'll know. A twinge at the small of your back as the poison seizes your nervous system...
- Stanley Goodspeed: [Mason has lifted the chem round to look at it] DO NOT MOVE THAT! Your muscles freeze, you can't breathe, you spasm so hard you break your own back and spit your guts out. But that's after your skin melts off.
- John Mason: My God...
- Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, I think we'd like God on our side at the moment, don't you?
- Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, just some terrorists decided to send a little care package. Box of goodies. Which had to be neutralized before blowing up the office...
- [plucks a harsh note on his guitar]
- Stanley Goodspeed: So I took the rest of the day off. Glass of wine, little guitar... Just relax.
- Carla: Wow.
- Stanley Goodspeed: I mean it, honey, the world is being Fed-exed to hell in a hand cart. I really believe anyone thinking even thinking of bringing a child into the world is coldly considering an act of cruelty.
- [pause, Carla stares at Stanley]
- Stanley Goodspeed: I know, I'm rambling, I'm complaining, I'm sorry. What's your news, baby?
- Carla: I'm pregnant.
- Carla: [after telling Stanley she's pregnant] You didn't mean what you just said, did you?
- Stanley Goodspeed: When?
- Carla: Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and having it be an act of cruelty.
- Stanley Goodspeed: I meant it at the time.
- Carla: Stanley, "at the time"? You said it seven and a half seconds ago!
- Stanley Goodspeed: Well... gosh, kind of a lot's happened since then.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Mason, you all right?
- John Mason: [hanging upside down] Yes. Perfectly okay, you fucking idiot.
- [John and Jade's conversation is interrupted by police cars converging on the Palace of Fine Arts, Jade backs away from John]
- Jade Angelou: Is this about you? You broke out of prison again, didn't you?
- [John gropes for a response]
- Jade Angelou: Why did you come to me?
- Stanley Goodspeed: [appears, showing his badge] FBI, ma'am. Your father's working with us. He's helping us to resolve a dangerous situation.
- Jade Angelou: He is?
- Stanley Goodspeed: Yes, ma'am. Well, gee whiz, John, I guess we'd better get going, don't you?
- John Mason: Whatever you say, Stanley.
- [He clasps hands with Jade, then leaves with Stanley]
- John Mason: Thank you for that. You could have handled it differently.
- Stanley Goodspeed: What do you say we cut the chit-chat, a-hole? You almost got me killed twice! And my jaw hurts like hell.
- John Mason: ...Good.
- Kid On Motorcycle: Hey man, you just fucked up your Ferrari.
- Stanley Goodspeed: It's not mine.
- [steals bike]
- Stanley Goodspeed: And neither is this.
- Commander Anderson: Have you ever been in a combat situation before?
- Stanley Goodspeed: Define combat, sir.
- Commander Anderson: Shep?
- Lt. Shephard: An incursion underwater to re-take an impregnable fortress held by an elite team of U.S. Marines, in possession of eighty-one hostages and fifteen guided rockets loaded with V.X. poison gas.
- Stanley Goodspeed: Oh. In that case, no sir. Excuse me...
- Stanley Goodspeed: [last lines]
- Stanley Goodspeed: [while looking at the microfilm by using a miniature magnifying glass that was left by Mason] Honey? Uh... You wanna know who really killed JFK?