Ving Rhames credited as playing...
Shad
- Chico: Are you Ms. Grant?
- Erin Grant: [sarcastically] No, I'm Barbara Bush.
- Chico: [to Shad] And you are?
- Shad: George Bush.
- Shad: You talk to her?
- Erin Grant: Darrell's phone's disconnected. I think he moved again.
- Shad: You know, I'd embrace the opportunity to maim his white ass up.
- Erin Grant: I know you would, and that's really thoughtful, but I don't think it would help my case in court if I had him attacked.
- [Shad appears besides Erin's car while Darrell is holding her at knifepoint inside it]
- Shad: Drop the knife! You got 'til three. One...
- Darrell Grant: Suck my dick!
- Shad: Whip the little fella out. Two...
- Darrell Grant: [brandishes the knife at Shad] This here's a domestic squabble...!
- [Shad seizes his knife hand and wrenches his arm over the window jam, snapping the bone. Darrell screams]
- Shad: Three.
- Darrell Grant: You broke my arm!
- Shad: You sure?
- Erin Grant: [Shad has just put a roach in a container of yogurt] So, this is the new brainstorm, huh?
- Shad: Accordin' to the Wall St. Journal we got here the hottest selling yogurt in the country. I bring this in, say my hair fell out from the shock. BOOM! They pay off big time. My lawyer thinks it's a genius idea.
- Erin Grant: Your lawyer has an office over a video store.
- Shad: Call me a dreamer. I don't wanna be a bouncer forever.
- Shad: "Free Willy" back yet?
- Video Clerk: Still out.
- Shad: People are pigs! Sit on movies like they own 'em!
- [about going after Erin without police backup]
- Shad: So we're it? A cop and a bouncer?
- Lt. Al Garcia: Plus two strippers and a kid. We're in great shape.
- Lt. Al Garcia: [about Erin] Dilbeck didn't invite her back?
- Shad: She said no.
- Lt. Al Garcia: Well, that's good. Because I don't think she should go back there, even with you. And what was with her tonight? She seemed edgy.
- Shad: She got her moods, man. Could be that time of the month.
- Lt. Al Garcia: So now you're the gynecologist-bouncer, bouncer-gynecologist?
- Shad: Hey! I just watch out for the girls.
- Lt. Al Garcia: Wow... so do I. That makes a grand total of two people in the entire state of Florida. Because the higher-ups in my department, they're not exactly pushing this investigation. Is any of this making sense to you?
- Shad: Because of this asshole Congressman.
- Lt. Al Garcia: Bingo! We've got two homicides here, and nobody gives a shit except you and me. And I'm worried about that girl. She's all alone out there.
- [Orly hires Lorelei and her trained python away from the Flesh Farm, only they send the snake's dead body]
- Orly: Here, go rustle up a new snake.
- Shad: Where, the AM/PM? Who the fuck carries pythons at ten o'clock at night?
- Orly: There's an all-night snake farm on Route 27. Ask for Jungle Juan. And get rid of that thing! God, I hate this business! You know why? It's lost its humanity.
- Lt. Al Garcia: [in the morgue] Now here comes that brilliant and charming attorney of yours, Mr. Mordecai. Found him 400 yards offshore. Now show him the rest of his kisser.
- Medical Examiner: [uncovers Mordecai's face] Crabs find lawyers a particular delicacy, yeah.
- Shad: Looks like lasagna. Cover that shit up.
- Lt. Al Garcia: You mind telling me why your name was on his calendar for tomorrow?
- Shad: I was involved in a litigation with a yogurt company.
- Lt. Al Garcia: Just based on my limited experience, this doesn't look like the sort of thing a yogurt company would ordinarily do. You know, I hear this prick represented the same poor kid who got mauled at your club. Now that I find fascinating, Shad!
- Shad: He had a picture...
- [retching]
- Shad: Man, I'm gonna lose it!
- [the coroner starts to cover Mordecai's face, Garcia stops him]
- Lt. Al Garcia: A picture of what? A certain legislator?
- Shad: Yeah... beatin' the kid's ass.
- Lt. Al Garcia: And where's the original?
- Shad: I got no idea.
- [the coroner covers up Mordecai, Garcia hands Shad a box of mints]
- Lt. Al Garcia: Here, freshen up. Thanks.
- Medical Examiner: Can I interest you in dessert?
- Lt. Al Garcia: No, just the check.
- [the coroner laughs and wheels Mordecai away]