Leslie Nielsen credited as playing...
Dick Steele 'Agent WD-40'
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: You carry a UB-21 Schnauzer with a Gnab silencer. That's KGB. You prefer an H&K over an A.K. Your surveillance technique is NSA. Your ID is CIA. You received your Ph.D. at NYU. Traded in your GTO for a BMW. You listen to CDs by R.E.M. and STP. And you'd like to see J.F.K. in his BVDs, getting down with O.P.P. And you probably put the toilet paper back on the roll with the paper on the inside.
- [about to infiltrate Kikiree Island]
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: I'm going in there.
- Veronique Ukrinsky, Agent 3.14: That's crazy!
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: No, crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, muttering "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Operator, get me Washington.
- Operator: George?
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: D.C.
- Veronique Ukrinsky, Agent 3.14: Have a nice flight, and I wish you adieu.
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Thank you, but I am quite satisfied with the do I have.
- Kabul: Do you have a lighter?
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: I use matches.
- Kabul: Does your mother know you smoke?
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: Yes. But I don't inhale.
- Kabul: Kabul.
- Dick Steele, Agent WD-40: [gives him puzzled look] Uh...
- Kabul: I'm Kabul.