Martin Lawrence credited as playing...
Darnell Wright
- Nikki: Now, see what you need to be doing, Darnell, is taking care of me.
- Darnell 'Deeny: Uh, now when did we establish that you were my woman?
- Nikki: [sharply] When I opened my legs to you, baby! The contract was signed then.
- Tee: How you doing, baby?
- Brandi Web: [coldly] "How am I doing, baby?" I'm not your baby.
- Tee: Excuse me. Most men would have called you stuck up, looking all like a Barbie doll.
- Darnell 'Deeny: [narrating] And that was it. The moment that changed my entire life.
- Darnell 'Deeny: [running up to Brandi] Excuse me, excuse me. Hey, um...
- Brandi Web: [glaring at Tee] That's no way to talk to a lady!
- Tee: [mockingly] Oh, Madame...
- Darnell 'Deeny: Look, he didn't mean anything by it. He didn't mean it.
- Tee: [rudely] Yes, I did!
- Darnell 'Deeny: I'm sorry, it's just that he was dropped on his head as a baby and he's been a little rattled ever since.
- Brandi Web: I see. Well, perhaps I should arrange for him to fall on his head again so he can get unrattled.
- Brandi Web: So tell me something, Darnell. You still the man? The main man? You know what you are? And I didn't think so. You're a dog. A mad dog, to be exact. And do you know what they do with mad dogs? I can't hear you.
- Darnell 'Deeny: No, what they do with mad dogs?
- Brandi Web: [pulls out a gun] They shoot mad dogs!
- Ma Wright: I know you didn't touch her, baby. I raised you better than that. The Lord must've been watching out over your stupid ass.
- Darnell 'Deeny: Hey, I cut her off. She was into some crazy shit, mama. She was wild - buck wild.
- Darnell 'Deeny: [while visiting his mother] So, what's up, Ma? You been watching the talk shows?
- Ma Wright: I don't watch that junk! I've got enough trouble in my life already!
- Darnell 'Deeny: Cleofus' little brother? Mama, you can't let her go out with him. He macks more women than... than...
- Ma Wright: The one I'm looking at right now?