R.C. Bates credited as playing...
Sam the Keeper
- Sam the Keeper: Mr. Niles, I just found out that Count Dracula was a faggot!
- Paul Niles: Huh, Is that so?
- Sam the Keeper: Hey, you don't have to believe me but that's the facts!
- Sam the Keeper: [after surviving a confrontation with Paul the Werewolf, to the audience] I'm the good guy!
- Sam the Keeper: [Standing almost perfectly still a few feet from the werewolf] What's going on? Oh my God! Help me!
- [Still not moving away]
- Sam the Keeper: Holy Jesus God Father! Werewolf? Oh, no! Save me! This thing is a werewolf!
- [is finally attacked]
- Paul Niles: Do you always greet people with a gun in your hand?
- Sam the Keeper: What this? This is just to keep the flies down! There's some weird things happening around here!