Thomas Gibson credited as playing...
- Dharma: Silly, you don't sleep in the rain, you make love in the rain!
- Greg: Ahhh!
- [pause]
- Greg: What if there's lightning?
- Dharma: Then *you* get to be on top!
- Dharma: You're gonna be a great Dad!
- Greg: How do you know? How am I gonna know what to do?
- Dharma: Oh, you'll watch what I do. You'll totally disapprove and do the complete opposite.
- Greg: Were you this sarcastic before we met or is this something I have done?
- Dharma: A little you, a little your mother.
- Greg: Justice Department
- Treasury Officer: Treasury Department
- Dharma: San Francisco Library
- Jane Deaux: Organ Donor
- Greg: Come on,Mother, do you really think Dad enjoyed sitting on a blanket in the park watching Othello?
- Kitty: He cried.
- Greg: That's because you ran out of wine.
- Dharma: Your mother is a lusty volcano waiting to erupt!
- Greg: Okay, we have to establish some ground rules here. We never use the words mother, lusty and erupt in the same sentence.
- Dharma: [standing on the roof with a news helicopter overhead] I celebrate nature's awakening from her winter slumber! This is my dance to the spring!
- [takes her robe off]
- Greg: [watching the news downstairs]
- [yells]
- Greg: Dharmaaaaaaaa!
- [runs out]
- TV News Reporter: [from the TV] My God, I *love* this job!
- Greg: [while Abby is dealing tarot cards] Can we just get this over with? Hit me.
- Dharma: [looks at the card] *Death*!
- Greg: Hit me again.
- Abigail Kathleen 'Abby' O'Neil: Now, Dharma, "death" doesn't always mean death. Sometimes it just means a change is coming.
- Greg: Yeah! Like a haircut.
- Dharma: [yells] I didn't dream you died in a fiery haircut!
- Greg: What do you think?
- Dharma: Well, I think that one of us should go talk to your Dad, and I think you should go talk to your Mom.
- Greg: I know what you just did.
- Dharma: Me too! Go with God!
- Greg: [marches with Pete, Larry, and Edward down a hallway like astronauts while triumphant music plays in the background]
- [music stops]
- Greg: What the hell are we doing?
- Greg: What are you doing?
- Dharma: Wait a second, can you see me?
- Greg: Yes.
- Dharma: Oh, I totally misunderstood that groom-can't-see-the-bride-in-her-wedding-dress-thing.
- Dharma: Honey, are you OK?
- Greg: I'm fine. I'm just lying here trying to decide whether your father is a hole surrounded by ass.
- Greg: [to Dharma] I wouldn't want our marriage to get in the way of your dating.
- Greg: What's in the pipe, Larry?
- Greg: Justice Department.
- Treasury Officer: Treasury Department.
- Dharma: San Francisco Library.
- Greg: You wanna have children?
- Dharma: Yeah, unless you wanna have 'em!
- Greg: *I* went to boarding school, it's not the worst thing in the world!
- Dharma: Excuse me! Aren't you the person who said that boarding school is the worst thing in the world?
- Greg: [looking at the horrible Thanksgiving meal that Kitty prepared] My mother cooked. In what *universe* does my mother cook?
- Greg: Oh, my parents aren't exactly the best hosts. They're difficult to warm up to. I know I never have.
- Dharma: [while searching through their dead neighbor's belongings] Aha! See? Unfinished business!
- Greg: [looks at the piece of paper] She's tethered to this earthly plane because she didn't pick up her dry-cleaning?
- Dharma: *You* would be.
