Andrew Lawrence credited as playing...
Kevin Langley
- Kevin Langley: I can't sleep. I can'e stop thinking about naked women. What about you?
- Mr. Bean: Whistler's Mother.
- Kevin Langley: Well, whatever turns you on!
- Kevin Langley: [return a short while with their mother, with Bean absent] Hi, Dad.
- Jennifer Langley: Hi, Dad.
- Alison Langley: [Bean appears] Hello, doctor.
- Kevin Langley: Bye, dad.
- Jennifer Langley: Bye, dad.
- [both leave, leaving David full of distress]
- [the Langleys have a conference about Bean's arrival]
- Jennifer Langley: [in sarcastic tone] You're kidding.
- David Langley: Come on, it's gonna be great! Let's say there's a chart of the most intelligent people you've ever met in your lives. Well, at number one with the bullet is Doctor Bean.
- [family sighs]
- Kevin Langley: Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer.
- Kevin Langley: Like "What is an intrauterine device"?
- David Langley: I think more like "What's the meaning of life?"
- Kevin Langley: I never asked you that.
- David Langley: That's fine. It doesn't matter! What I'm saying here is that Doctor Bean is a very remarkable man.
- David Langley: [to Jennifer] Hey, for all you know, he could be very cute.
- [cuts to Bean standing in London raising his eyebrows at the camera]
- David Langley: [cuts back to Jennifer]
- Jennifer Langley: Come on, the guy's gonna be a creep. All Englishmen are ugly. I just look at Prince Charles and weep.
- David Langley: Okay, so he's gonna look like Meat Loaf's butt.
- Jennifer Langley: Yeah, and that's if we get lucky.
- [Jennifer prepares to leave the room]
- David Langley: Jennifer, no one is asking you to marry him!
- Jennifer Langley: I don't know why we have these family conferences if Dad's already made up his mind.
- Alison Langley: Perceptive child.
- Kevin Langley: Hey, what's wrong with Meat Loaf's butt?
- David Langley: [stands up and shouts loudly across the room] Oh, come on, everybody! It's gonna be great! Doctor Bean is a genius at the very highest order!
- Kevin Langley: Oh, if you still can't sleep, come to my room. I got some great posters of Cindy Crawford on my wall.
- [deleted scene; David enters the house with a towel draped around his waist; Mr. Bean cooks breakfast]
- David Langley: What time is it?
- Mr. Bean: [stirs a saucepan] Scrambled eggs, anyone?
- David Langley: No, thank you.
- [notices Kevin sitting at the kitchen table]
- David Langley: Kevin?
- [approaches]
- David Langley: Shouldn't you be getting to school?
- Kevin Langley: Yeah, I'm waiting.
- David Langley: [confused] Waiting for what?
- [Mr. Bean sets orange juice down on the table]
- Kevin Langley: For you to take me.
- David Langley: Y-your mother normally takes you to school?
- Kevin Langley: Yeah.
- David Langley: [shakes his head] OK. OK, OK, come on, let's do it.
- [pours himself a cup of juice]
- David Langley: This day of all days to be late. Day when I get to go to work and tell them Whistler's Mother now looks like Pinocchio's father.
- [leaves with his cup]
- Mr. Bean: Ah! Toast?
- [flips two slices of toast on an oven rack and smells them; sighs happily]