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Fran Drescher and Timothy Dalton in The Beautician and the Beast (1997)

Timothy Dalton: Boris Pochenko

The Beautician and the Beast

Timothy Dalton credited as playing...

Boris Pochenko

Photos26

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+ 14
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Quotes14

  • Boris Pochenko: Do I not intimidate you at all?
  • Joy Miller: Is one of your sideburns longer than the other?
  • Boris Pochenko: I know where we are.
  • Joy Miller: Well, where are we?
  • Boris Pochenko: We're in the woods.
  • Joy Miller: I knew it. Why can't you just ask one of them for directions?
  • Boris Pochenko: NO!
  • Joy Miller: Please! Asking for directions is not the first step to a two-party system.
  • Joy Miller: This is a special place. Was it special for someone else too?
  • Boris Pochenko: It's where I slaughtered my first cow.
  • Joy Miller: Huh?
  • Boris Pochenko: I was ten. My father told me I could eat only what I killed myself. All I had was two sticks and a butter knife, but I learned to be a man that day.
  • Joy Miller: Oh, what a sweet story.
  • Joy Miller: Come on, we can make our own sandwich.
  • Boris Pochenko: I don't know where anything is in this kitchen.
  • Joy Miller: Oh come on, I can find food at Ghandi's house. What're you kidding me?
  • Boris Pochenko: You should try running a country for a day. It's not all making war and smashing dissidents, you know. It's hard work.
  • Joy Miller: I'm sure it is.
  • Boris Pochenko: Where is some...
  • Joy Miller: What?
  • Boris Pochenko: Mayonnaise?
  • Joy Miller: We finished it.
  • Boris Pochenko: Oh.
  • [gives her a look]
  • Joy Miller: Hmmm?
  • Boris Pochenko: You're lying.
  • Joy Miller: It's all gone.
  • Boris Pochenko: Where is it?
  • Joy Miller: I had to scrape for this.
  • Boris Pochenko: Give it me!
  • Joy Miller: Oh all right, I'll give it you, give it you. Here you go.
  • Boris Pochenko: Hah. Hah-hah, heh-heh-heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.
  • Joy Miller: I just hope you realize you're entering those dangerous heart attack years.
  • Boris Pochenko: What a nice man that hermit was. I didn't even know I had a hermit!
  • Boris Pochenko: [talking to Svetlana] Hello how are you?
  • [silence]
  • Boris Pochenko: I killed a cow right over there.
  • [more silence]
  • Boris Pochenko: It was very nice meeting you!
  • Boris Pochenko: [about Joy] I mean, who has a voice like that?
  • [he impersonates Joy's nasal New York accent]
  • Boris Pochenko: So what if those windows are 12th century? Can't we put screens on them?
  • [Pochenko gestures to hit Katrina]
  • Joy Miller: What are you doing?
  • Boris Pochenko: You do not understand
  • Joy Miller: Oh no? You have the temper of an eight year old, your own children are scared to DEATH of you! And you hit girls! Tell me when I'm getting warm!
  • Boris Pochenko: This whole thing is none of your business!
  • Joy Miller: You know maybe you're right. Because even if you can't see that doing the right thing even when you have nothing to gain, is what makes you... a mench, and decent, and civilized! I can't have anything to do with you
  • Boris Pochenko: The boy will remain in prison, it's none of your business
  • Joy Miller: You know everyone is right about you... you are a beast...
  • [Trying to talk Pochenko into shaving]
  • Joy Miller: OK, a lot of great men had mustaches. Hitler, Franco...
  • Boris Pochenko: Einstein!
  • Joy Miller: Oh, and that's who you wanna look like?
  • Boris Pochenko: Oh my, call an ambulance! She doesn't know what to say!
  • Boris Pochenko: Now, about this business at the factory...
  • Joy Miller: Oh you know what there's no need to apologize, I know that you were cranky 'cause you didn't have your lunch. You could be hyperglycemic, you should carry a piece of cheese with you.
  • Boris Pochenko: I don't know where anything is in this kitchen
  • Joy Miller: Oh come on, I can find food in Ghandi's house, are you kidding me?
  • Boris Pochenko: Why must you always go one step too far? You could be such a pleasant person if you just had a tiny little edit button.
  • Boris Pochenko: [Outside Joy's parents house] Before you throw me out, I have three things to say. One; I released the boy from prison. Two; I'm holding free elections in the Spring. Three... Well I can't think of something else.
  • Joy Miller: One and two are plenty!
  • [They kiss]

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