Phil Buckman credited as playing...
Chris
- Serafine: [Chris enters the cellar and discovers that she is locked in a cage] What are you doing here?
- Chris: You're asking me?
- Serafine: Please stay away. Go now.
- Chris: Don't you want to get out of here?
- Serafine: Just leave me alone, please.
- Chris: Oh, is this some kind of kinky game or something, cause...
- Serafine: Where are your friends?
- Chris: They're at Claude's party waiting for you.
- Serafine: Party?
- Chris: Yeah, you know, that--that lunar thing.
- [Hands her the invitation]
- Serafine: [alarmed] Oh my god, they're in great danger. Get the key, over there.
- Chris: [gets the key to unlock her] Wait, what kind of danger?
- Serafine: Just leave it to me. Ok?
- Chris: No way. If there's a problem I'm coming with you.
- Serafine: [opens the cage] It's much too dangerous, believe me.
- Chris: Ok, now, hold on a second, hot pants, there's no way that I'm going to-h
- [she punches him knocking him unconscious]
- [Andy wakes up in the hospital after banging his head on the Eiffel Tower after doing a bungee jump]
- Brad: Hey, Andy. Hey, he's coming around.
- Chris: Hey, Andy, can you hear me?
- Brad: Whoa? Don't move too fast, man. You might puke or something.
- [Chris holds up shoe]
- Chris: Hey, prince, you remember dropping this?
- Andy McDermott: Where is she?
- Brad: Who? Cinderella? It was after midnight, man. She split.
- Chris: Yeah, but that rescue...
- Brad: Oh...
- Chris: Dude, nice grab, man. Talk about falling for a girl.
- [They both laugh]
- Brad: Just remember to tie off next time.
- Andy McDermott: God-- you saved my life.
- Brad: Yeah, and you saved hers, too.
- Chris: Yeah, so we figure, you know, we're in for half your points.
- [Andy lays down in bed]
- Andy McDermott: That girl--talk about the woman of my dreams.
- Brad: I think we're losing him. Nurse?
- [laughs]
- Brad: What?
- Andy McDermott: I have to find her.
- Chris: No, you have to get some rest.
- Andy McDermott: But she might try it again.
- Brad: Andy, she's obviously whacked. The kind of girl that jumps off the Eiffel Tower has issues, man--major issues.
- Andy McDermott: I have to find her.
- [Andy tries to get out of bed but they stop him]
- Brad: Get real, Miss Marple. Look, all we have is a shoe.
- Andy McDermott: The note. Did you pick up the note? She had a note in her hand. If it's a suicide note, maybe then we could go find out who she is.
- Chris: Ok. Ok. We'll find it. Just relax, all right. Just here--take your little toy.
- [give him the shoe]
- [Andy is preparing to bungee jump]
- Chris: Andy? Andy, what are you doing?
- Brad: Andy, come and have some vin. Andy? What are you doing? For god sake's. I think we pushed him too far. I'm gonna go stop him.
- Chris: Relax, man. He's never gonna go through with it.
- Brad: Whoa, whoa. Slow down, chief. Come have a drink. It's the real stuff. It has a cork.
- Andy McDermott: No, I'm flying dry.
- Brad: Look, sorry about the train. Ok? We were just busting your balls. That's all. Andy, you've proven yourself to us. Ok? You don't have to go through with this.
- Andy McDermott: Don't worry, Brad. Nobody's forcing me. I want to do this. You understand?
- Brad: Andy, this is madness. Ok? You're gonna get yourself killed. Now, please, I'm trying to talk some sense...
- Chris: Guy's, guy's--shh. I think someone's coming.
- Andy McDermott: To Paris.
- Chris: Beware.
- [Andy and Chris make a toast]
- Brad: Hey,hey watch it man. All right I have the score for Spain our leader with 125 daredevil points, yours truly and in second place with 95 Chris...
- Chris: Wait hold on a second what about the sex points?
- Brad: No,those are separate.
- Chris: Since when you can't keep changing the rules.
- Andy McDermott: Who said anything about sex points,read your shirt it say's Daredevil Tour.
- Chris: [Girl passes by] you see that, she smiled at me.
- Andy McDermott: In your dream's she's not interested in douche bags like us,european babes are charming and sophisticated especially the French
- Brad: Yea hench the hairy pit's.
- Andy McDermott: See what I mean.
- Chris: I'll give you 30 sex point's if you can so much as get her phone number.
- Andy McDermott: She's not my type.
- Brad: Ah come on you-you haven't made a move this entire trip Andy.
- Andy McDermott: I'm choosy.
- Chris: When was the last time you had sex?
- Brad: With another person?
- Andy McDermott: There's sex and there's love,that's what differentiates human's from animal's.
- Brad: Alright fine when where you last in love?
- Andy McDermott: [to Chris] When where you ever in love?
- Chris: Maps upside-down,slick.
- Brad: Give him a break Chris, we can't let him fall to far back.
- Andy McDermott: I won't need your charity once we get to Paris, Il show you guy's a stunt you'll never top.
- Brad, Chris: [Sarcastically] Oooh
- Andy McDermott: Whats her name again?
- Brad: Serafine pie-got
- Chris: Serafine...
- Andy McDermott: Serafine Pigot, it's a beautiful name.
- Chris: [Andy is standing near the entrance] Are you getting cold feet?
- Andy McDermott: Just a bit nervous, I don't want to say the wrong thing.
- [rings doorbell;noone answers]
- Chris: [looks through window; excitingly to Andy] your on prince!
- Serafine: [speaking french] whos there?
- Andy McDermott: [stammers] Serafine-uh Hi-uh its the guy who uh - ive got your shoe
- [serafine answers the door]
- Andy McDermott: Hi I'm Andy we met on the tower, this is Chris and Brad and uh listen this uh I thought you would want this because uhh it's not my size.
- [gives her shoe]
- Serafine: Your very kind now go please, you must not stay here.
- Chris: Charming
- Brad: And sophisticated. forget about it, lets go Andy.
- Andy McDermott: Wait, did you see what I saw?
- Brad: What?
- Andy McDermott: She had blood on her hand, she's trying it again!
- Brad: [to Chris] Just so were on the same page, who's crazier here?
- Serafine: Please go, or there will be trouble.
- Andy McDermott: Uh-no wait wait, what did you do to your hand? Do you have blood on your hand? Your bleeding.
- Serafine: Uh no, uh-uh its just paint, I'm redecorating the cellar.
- Andy McDermott: [relieved] oh, I thought uh...
- Serafine: Please go, now.
- Andy McDermott: Listen, wait, hold it, we can help, we can have that done in no time, right guys?
- Serafine: No thanks, thank you.
- Andy McDermott: I-please look, I just wanna talk.
- Serafine: I don't think it's a good idea.
- Andy McDermott: Please just once if you let me in, i-will never bother you again.
- Serafine: Ok tomorrow 4:00, in front of the Concert Hall.
- Andy McDermott: You mean it?
- Serafine: I promise, now go please.
- Brad: Excellent
- Andy McDermott: I did it.
- Chris: You mean you almost blew it, take some advice from the experts-you gots to play it cool, Daddy-O.
- Chris: Relax man. She's just playing hard to get. This whole mysterious elusive thing, it's just a ploy to make her more interesting.
- Andy McDermott: No, it's not that simple. The way she talks about her parents, it's like she blames herself.
- Brad: Yeah, she's demented enough. Remember the blood on her hands? That's done at the cafe?
- [Does karate moves]
- Brad: it's like she's a black belt or something.
- Claude: [speaks french] Bonsoir? Je peux va aider.
- ["Good evening? Can i help you?"]
- Andy McDermott: Um-- we're just...
- Claude: Americans?
- Brad: Yeah?
- Claude: I love Americans. May I help?
- Chris: Uh-- Yeah. We're looking for Serafine.
- Claude: Sure. But I'm sorry she's not at home.
- Andy McDermott: Are you her, uh-- brother?
- Claude: [chuckles] Let's just say I look after her.
- Brad: Ok. Sorry to bother you.
- Chris: See you.
- Brad: Let's go, Andy.
- Claude: Wait.
- [shuts lights to the house off]
- Claude: if you guys are not doing anything later, come to our charity full moon party
- [gives them invitations]
- Claude: it's for a good cause.
- Andy McDermott: Thanks anyway, but...
- Claude: Serafine will be there. Just tell the man at the door, Claude sent you.
- Chris: A little, uh-- competition, huh, Andy?
- Chris: [Chris and Brad are helping Andy get ready for his date] First thing we're going to do is work on your outfit. Now, okay-- remember 80% of all these French girls really go for that macho type
- [gives Andy his jacket and Brad's hat]
- Brad: Oh, throwing it up on the playboy-- excellent.
- Chris: All right. Don't show any insecurities that's the worst.
- [Chris lends Andy his sunglasses]
- Chris: and uh...
- Brad: [Serafine is approaching] Split. She's coming. She's coming.
- Chris: [stuffs condoms in Andy's shirt pocket] Here, be prepared.
- Andy McDermott: [embarrassed] Oh, wait. Come on. Chris, it's our first date
- [takes condoms back out to hand them back]
- Chris: [goes off to the side with Brad while looking at a map] What are you a nun? Be cool. And, um-- show attitude.
- Andy McDermott: [leans on street lamp] Serafine?
- Serafine Pigot: Hi
- Andy McDermott: Hi
- Serafine Pigot: I didn't recognize you.
- Andy McDermott: [referring to his sunglasses] vOh, yeah. Uh-- well, it's bright.
- Serafine Pigot: What would you like to do?
- Andy McDermott: I don't know. Is there a.. cafe?
- Serafine Pigot: [chuckles] We're in Paris
- Chris: [Andy, Chris and Brad are at the party looking for Serafine] She ain't here, man.
- Andy McDermott: I can't believe she'd be at a dump like this.
- Brad: [sarcastically] Yeah, she's way to centered.
- Claude: Glad you could come. Enjoy the party.
- Chris: Merci.
- Brad: [teasingly to Andy] Think he's boinking her?
- Andy McDermott: [annoyed; sarcastically] Thanks alot, Brad. I'm going to go back to the villa-- see if she's there.
- Chris: No, no, no. I'll go. You stay here in case she, uh-shows up.
- Andy McDermott: [Really touched] Would you?
- Chris: Yes.
- Andy McDermott: Thanks, I appreciate it.