John Goodman credited as playing...
Mighty Mack McTeer
- Mighty Mack: Elwood, they have automatic weapons.
- Elwood Blues: Look in the glove compartment.
- Mighty Mack: Carpet Tacks! They have guns and we have carpet tacks.
- Elwood Blues: They're not carpet tacks. They're dry-wall nails.
- Elwood Blues: [while the Russian's are at the burial sight of a loved one, Elwood is trying to get Mr. Fabulous, who has now become a funeral director, to rejoin the band]
- [loudly]
- Elwood Blues: Hey, Mr. Fabulous, what time you want us to come back and grab the rings and watch off the corpse?
- Mighty Mack: [Russians at the funeral begin to talk amongst themselves in Russian]
- [more loudly]
- Mighty Mack: And what about the deal with the medical college for his dick!
- Mr. Fabulous: [the Russians begin to yell, get out their weapons, and shoot at them] ... We're dead now.
- [Elwood, Mack, Buster, and Mr. Fabulous run to the Bluesmobile and drive away]
- Mighty Mack: The suit's real neat, but do I have to wear the hat?
- Elwood Blues: These are unsophisticated men. They only respond to fear and the draw of lucre. We elicit this by using iconographic symbols, and psychological intimidation. The way we look together presents a uniform image of strength and organization. Don't say anything. Look mean. No smiling.
- Queen Mousette: You wish to enter the Battle of the Bands contest.
- Mighty Mack: We wish to win first prize!
- Robertson: Now y'all might think we're just a group of sad, sorry, sumbitches out here in a field jerkin' each other off... Or you might just think... that we know somethin'.
- [Group of soldiers nod in agreement]
- Robertson: I'm gonna tell you somethin' else. The federal government has a computer. Now this computer is wired to a computer in Jerusalem
- [rolls eyes]
- Robertson: and Moscow!
- Another Soldier: [interrupting] There's something in the river, Mr. Robertson.
- Robertson: Where?
- Another Soldier: I saw something. Underneath the water, sir.
- Robertson: Son... it's okay to be nervous, okay? Uh... there's enough explosives in that boat to blow up every post office in this country, you know? But no one knows we're here, no one knows our plans.
- Mighty Mack: [the Bluesmobile comes up out of the water, bringing with it their boat, which rests on top of the car] Hey, yous guys havin' a picnic?
- Robertson: [the soldiers cock their weapons and point them at the Bluesmobile] Don't shoot, you might hit the boat!
- Elwood Blues: [Looking around] What boat?
- Robertson: That's the International Jewish Communist Conspiracy in action, people! One of their spy satellite's must have picked up our location... KILL THEM!
- [the soldiers open fire on the Bluesmobile with the boat on top of it, but as the car drives away, it hits a divot which causes the boat to be thrown up into the air... It regretably lands on Robertson]