Patrick Cranshaw credited as playing...
Jackson
- Jackson: Sir, Higgins has a story.
- Edwards: Well, all right, Higgins. The floor is yours.
- Higgins: [clears throat] This particular event happened last summer on my uncle's farm in Virginia. My brother and I had just finished cutting a field of hay, and were enjoying the evening meal, under the shade of an elm tree. He went down for water by the creek and while he was gone, I took a bowl that was filled with delicious plum pudding and placed into it, not one, but two large pieces of sheep shit.
- [all men start cracking up except Edwards and Father]
- Higgins: When-when he returned, I encouraged him to taste the plum pudding... And as sure as I'm standing before you today, he did! He ate it all. Shit Pudding!
- [men continue to crack up]
- Higgins: He ate shit pudding!
- Edwards: You... got your brother to eat sheep dung.
- [Higgins nods and wheezes "Yes" while laughing]
- Edwards: Yes, that is a very... amusing story.
- Hunt: Tell him...
- [still chortling]
- Hunt: Tell him the ending. That's the best part.
- Higgins: Oh oh oh yeah! And to be perfectly honest with you sir, I have no brother. It was me. I ate sheep shit! I swear, I did.
- Edwards: Yes... yes... clever... twist on the end, there.
- Jackson: I'm looking for Leslie Edwards.
- Edwards: I am Leslie Edwards.
- Jackson: M'name's Jackson. It's been my lifelong dream to see the Pacific Ocean before I die. Please take me with you.
- Hunt: An old bag of bones like you wouldn't make it 100 yards upriver.
- Jackson: On my worst day, I could still beat the stuffin' outta you. You... puffed-up crow's cock!
- Hunt: No, you couldn't.
- Jackson: [to Hunt] I know.
- [to Edwards]
- Jackson: Please take me with you! I must see the Pacific! Can you deny an old man his dream?
- Edwards: I cannot, and I will not.
- [Hunt reacts with severe disapproval, shaking his head]
- Edwards: Jackson, you may accompany us.
- [Jackson is overjoyed]
- Hunt: [storms away] Horse's ass!
- Jackson: [calls after him] Turd!
- Edwards: Help us load the boats.
- Jackson: [hurries away] Sorry; can't do. I'm an old man.