The Haunted Sea

Most low budget ALIEN copies try to camouflage the fact they're copies by setting them in some exotic locale. We have gotten ALIEN underwater (LEVIATHAN, DEEPSTAR SIX, etc.), underground (MIND RIPPER), in a jungle (PREDATOR), on post-holocaust earth (CREEPOZOIDS), in skyscrapers (PROJECT: METALBEAST) and basically anywhere where people in a confined space are stalked and killed off by a big FX monster. It's all the same. Some are good, some are OK and some are terrible. This one (set on an abandoned boat) falls into the latter category, but gets some major unintentional laughs thanks mainly to the awful creature design.

Here (in case anyone cares), an ancient Aztec statue turns a guy into a terrible looking, floppy-handed lizard creature who attacks and kills off most of the cast. Flashbacks to an Aztec temple (using badly incorporated stock footage) are just an excuse to get big-breasted star Krista Allen out of her clothes (not a bad thing). Joanna Pacula deserves to be in better movies. James Brolin deserves his eventual fate (marriage to *ARGHHH!* Barbra Streisand!)

Score: 2 out of 10

Yes it's true that is the main reason I watched this "film" the beautiful Joanna Pacula. Unfortunately apart from this, this is a pretty dismal film. Even the nudity of the other actress (Krista Allen) doesn't help, she's pretty awful to be honest.

The whole film is pretty pants, the crew of a film find a mysterious vessel and when some of the crew board it they find no crew but plenty of ancient loot. They intend to steal it, bad idea pals. Another problem is most of the crew are unlikeable so who cares when they get bumped off, as for the Monster, well it's so awful it's amazing it got filmed at all.

Poor Joanna having to appear in this guff, she must've needed the money.

The other user comment for this movie says it all, except that Barbra Streisand should forbid hubby James Brolin from ever again attempting an Irish accent.

And then there's that gimme cap on the noggin of the usually glamorous, decidedly non-butch Joanna Pacula.

MST3K is gone, sad to say. This would have been perfect fodder.

Along with "Grim" this is possibly the worst monster-on-the-loose horror film I have ever seen.James Brolin and Joanna Pacula are completely wasted in this piece of crap.As for Pacula,she is my favourite Polish actress but why she was involved in this disaster is beyond me.The plot is obnoxious and stupid,the monster looks incredibly fake and the special effects are mostly made up of splattering red paint/blood on the wall when someone gets hacked up.The lead actress Krista Allen is extremely annoying and incredibly wooden.To sum up,if you enjoy lame acting,cheesy gore effects and an implausible plot,then this is the film for you.If not,avoid it like the plague.

"The Haunted Sea" is an incredibly bad, cheap movie, noteworthy only for its short length and gratuitous nudity. Krista Allen-Morritt's so-big-they-won't-fit-in-a-football-helmet breasts are the true stars of this "Aliens", "Q, The Winged Serpent", and "Leviathan" rip-off, as she's topless at every possible occasion, including dream sequences and a shower scene.

Casting borders on the ridiculous: extraordinarily beautiful Joanna Pacula is the freighter's 2nd-in-command, and James Brolin (Barbra Streisand's paramour) is the ship's captain who uses such nautical terms as "left" and "right."

Special effects are ridiculous: the monster looks like a cheap Godilla (think of "Godzookie" on the old cartoon); animated "lightning" jumps off ancient Aztec statues; the assorted killings are amateurish at best.

See it only if you have nothing better to do for it's 84 minute running time.