Alex D. Linz credited as playing...
Alex Pruitt
- Peter Beaupre: [as he sneaks into the mailslot of Alex's house] You can run, but you can't hide, Junior!
- Alex: Surprise!
- [Beaupre screams while Alex sprays black paint over his eyes]
- Karen Pruitt: You get in that bed, young man.
- Alex: Excuse me, but I saw a man in Karen Stephan's bedroom. A white male, a little older than Dad, and he was wearing butt inspection gloves.
- Karen Pruitt: I have warned you about that telescope. You look through it long enough, you're gonna start seeing things, whether or not they're there.
- Alex: Well, I guess you have to be 35 before anyone around here listens to you!
- Karen Pruitt: Don't get smart with me, Alex! Sick or not, I am very angry with you. You caused a lot of trouble today. Dad and I have to replace a door at the Stephans'. Do you think we're happy about that?
- Alex: I saw what I saw!
- Alex: [calls out to the crooks] You're not gonna find me up there, you big, dumb, law-breaking knuckle-heads!
- Earl Unger, Alice, Burton Jernigan: He's outside!
- Alex: [holds the chip] Recognize this?
- Alex: There's a senior citizen across the street who needs some soup and a doctor to look at her feet. There's two guys in our pool and a woman in our basement. The other one's gone.
- Agent Stuckey: [shows Alex the picture of Beaupre] Is this him?
- Alex: Yep.
- Agent Stuckey: For seven years, we've been after this guy. He always manages to slip away. Thanks.
- Alex: Heads up!
- [unleashes booby trap that releases dumbbells on two criminals]
- Peter Beaupre: How did that happen?
- Earl Unger: I don't know.
- Alex: [donging is heard] Ouch.
- Peter Beaupre: Well... It's Alex, isn't it? Today you learned something, there is a price to be paid for being a good citizen. In your zeal to aid your neighbor, you finally step into one of my traps.
- [takes toy car and takes it apart, only to find nothing, and drops them to the floor, then yells at Alex in Polish]
- Alex: Can Mrs. Hess go inside? She's very old and very cold. Please?
- Peter Beaupre: [takes bag and spills out everything, then grabs Alex and sits him on the shelf] Give me the chip!
- Alex: It doesn't belong to you. It's not yours.
- Peter Beaupre: [takes out gun and points it at Alex] The chip, son. Give me the chip.
- Alex: [sees Beaupre's gun and smirks] And that doesn't belong to you either.
- Peter Beaupre: What?
- Alex: That's not your gun.
- [Beaupre shoots, out a dart from the gun, and Alex takes out another gun]
- Alex: This is your gun.
- [Alex points his gun at Beaupre, then scares him away]
- Alex: Gotcha.
- [Alex's gun is revealed to be his bubble gun]
- Police Captain: Son, this is the 2nd time in 2 days that you've called the police. It's a very serious matter when a person calls the police.
- Alex: I saw a burglar yesterday and I saw a burglar today.
- Karen Pruitt: Alex, listen to the chief.
- Police Captain: There was no one in that house.
- Alex: What about Johnny Allen's dog? I talked to Johnny last night. His dog was kidnapped after Monday morning.
- Police Captain: Did he see it happen?
- Karen Pruitt: Alex, apologize to the chief and go up to your room.
- Alex: [sarcastically] Excuse me for being a good citizen.
- Karen Pruitt: Alex, I'm very sorry. This will not happen again, will it honey?
- Alex: [Looking at a hand drawn map of the neighbourhood with Doris the rat] First the Stephans', then Mrs Hess. I agree, Doris - the next stop is the Alcotts' house. What kind of a burglar goes into a house and doesn't take anything? Do you know what I think? I think they're looking for something special, and they're looking in everybody's house because they don't know who has it. The question is, what is it?
- [Lies back on his bed. The toy car is next to him]
- Alex Pruitt: Have you ever had the chickenpox?
- Mrs. Hess: I had the chickenpox when Herbert Hoover was in the White House.
- Alex: They'll understand when I'm done. They'll know that I was telling the truth. I'm not gonna cry or feel sad or scared. They're grownups and they're criminals but this is my neighborhood and this is my house. No matter how old they are, no matter how big they are, they can't beat me here. They can't beat me at home.