Tim Allen credited as playing...
Michael Cromwell
- Michael Cromwell: [showing Mimi how to use the toilet] Before you pee, you lift the seat; after you pee, you put the seat back down. Females in tribe start war over this. Many deaths.
- Mimi-Siku: [after being out on the windows with Michael] Baboon scared?
- Michael Cromwell: Yes, Baboon scared. Baboon not know he could *be* so scared. Baboon's pants a little damp.
- Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
- Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
- [Richard, Michael and Mimi exit Jovanovic's office]
- Michael Cromwell: Richard, are you out of your mind? Now we're laundering money for the Russian mafia?
- Richard Kempster: Yes, we are, and we'll iron it for them too.
- [Michael and Richard are aguing about being a parent, while Richard tries to get Karen out of her room]
- Richard Kempster: Oh, what? Are you suddenly Dr Spock here? You've been a father for three days. And you're giving me lessons? Well, that's good.
- Michael Cromwell: You sound like an idiot.
- Richard Kempster: I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: His name is Mimi-Siku.
- Michael Cromwell: His name is what?
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: Mimi-Siku.
- Michael Cromwell: Mimi-Siku.
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: Roughly translated it means 'cat piss'.
- Michael Cromwell: He picked the name 'cat piss'?
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: He was six years-old at the time! It's a territorial thing.
- Mimi-Siku: [pointing to toucan in flight] A hoko!
- Michael Cromwell: Hoko. Hoko, bird. Bird that can't sing: Hoko Ono.
- [after Michael and Mimi depart from a taxi cab]
- Michael Cromwell: We're meeting this guy at a fish stall?
- Richard Kempster: No, no. He is ABOVE a fish stall.
- Michael Cromwell: Much better!
- Michael Cromwell: [sees Lipo Lipo for the first time]
- Michael Cromwell: Oh my God. She left me for Gilligan's Island.
- Michael Cromwell: Do you mean to tell me that you are walking around New York City with A MILLION DOLLARS IN A SUITCASE?
- Mimi-Siku: [after Mimi-Siku suggests they eat Coco the cat] Cat's job feed people.
- Michael Cromwell: No, not here. Here, cat's job is to sleep, lick crotch.
- Mimi-Siku: In Lipo Lipo, we eat with hands.
- Michael Cromwell: In New York, New York, we eat with forks.
- Michael Cromwell: [offered bat bladder in Lipo Lipo] Bat bladder? Holy kaopectate; I don't think so.
- Mimi-Siku: If you scream, Matika attack. If you calm, Matika nice. But Kukuve always mean.
- Michael Cromwell: Who's Kukuve?
- [Mimi-Siku points to the local alligator in the water; Michael runs out of the water in a panic]
- Michael Cromwell: This place is a nightmare!
- [after the blow dart hits the Coco the cat by accident as it falls from the table]
- Michael Cromwell: [low voice] Oh, no...