Eric Christmas credited as playing...
Ernie and Lars' Lawyer
- Ernie and Lars' Lawyer: [reading Rudolph Smuntz's will] "I leave you not just a model factory, but something infinitely more valuable: The future of string... itself."
- [a loud explosion; Ernie parts the blinds of the office window to see string raining down on the factory workers]
- Ernie and Lars' Lawyer: "And thus, it is my dying wish... that my two sons run Smuntz String together."
- Ernie Smuntz: [claps] Great. Let's stick a "for sale" sign on the front lawn and see what we can get.
- Lars Smuntz: Ernie, we're not supposed to sell it. We're supposed to run it, together!
- Ernie Smuntz: Either way, this godforsaken museum piece isn't worth a dime, now, is it, Lars?
- Lars Smuntz: *Some* things are more important than money, *Ernie*.
- Ernie Smuntz: Notice that it's always the financially challenged who say that?
- [Lars stands up]
- Ernie and Lars' Lawyer: [holds out his open palm] Please, please. "I also bequeath to you my personal effects, including... my ceramic egg... half box of Cuban cigars... and--" Oh, yes, yes. "My-my collection of spoons."
- [empties the contents from a box one at a time and sets them down on the table]
- Ernie Smuntz: [sarcastically] My goodness, what a treasure, what a legacy.
- [grabs the spoons]
- Ernie Smuntz: *Spoons*! Spoons! So many spoons, so little time!
- Ernie and Lars' Lawyer: [about their new house] It's interesting. it seems the previous owner was found locked in a trunk in the attic...