Fred Norris credited as playing...
Fred Norris
- Jackie: My answer is "cock", and I wrote it really big, so I have a "big cock!"
- Howard: I'm afraid you can't say "big cock" on the air. That's a no-no.
- Robin Quivers: But I just said "pussy".
- Jackie: [whining] Yeah, she just said *pussy*!
- Howard: Well, pussy's okay. It's the way you say it. "Big cock" coming out of your mouth is, just not good.
- Jackie: Wait a minute. I can't say "big cock", but you can say "big cock coming out of your mouth?"
- Howard: That's right.
- Jackie: That sucks!
- [Pig Vomit, very pissed off, starts running for the studio]
- Fred Norris: [as Richard Nixon] Did you just say "big cock coming out of your mouth that sucks"?
- Howard: So Brett, what did you write down?
- Robin Quivers: [as Brett Summers] Just like the boys, Gene. I've got "cock".
- Howard: Do me a favor. Hold that up for a second so I can see your "cock".
- Howard Stern: Whoooweeee. That's me. This is Lance Lewhatsup at WNBC. WNnnnnnBC, and I am proud to be New York's first ever gay disc jockey. Ever.
- Fred Norris: Ever.
- Howard Stern: Now I want to introduce to you my soul-mate, my love-mate, who I couldn't be without, Mr. Blaxwell.
- Fred Norris: Wilkommen, Bienvenue. Welcome.
- Robin Quivers: Well, it's great to meet you both and it is a pleasure to have you here, but I understand there's already been a problem?
- Howard Stern: Oh, yes. See, I was up in the Program Director's office and his name is Pig Vomit. Because he looks like a pig and he makes you want to vomit. Pig Vomit. So Pig Vomit says to me, "The name of the station isn't WNBC. It is WNnnnnnnBC. WNnnnnnnnBC." That I wasn't saying the call letters properly. It's a big problem. So, to um, *rectify* this, I brought along a cup of Blaxwell's semen.
- Robin Quivers: Semen?
- Fred Norris: I squoze it myself. I hope it's not too tangy.
- Howard Stern: Now I'm going to gargle it, and say the call letters over and over again until I get it right.
- Robin Quivers: Do you really think that'll work?
- Howard Stern: Oh, who cares. 'Cause I just love the taste of a man. Ooooh-ga.
- Fred Norris: Ooooh-ga.
- Robin Quivers: Oh, my God, You just swallowed.
- Howard Stern: I *swallowed*!
- Fred Norris: Waste not, want not, Robin.
- Howard Stern: I want you all to know that I love WNnnnnnnnBC. See, now I can say it WNnnnnnnnnBC.