Space Truckers

What would happen if Star Wars was rewritten to focus only on Han, Luke, and a girl, only Han was older and Luke was snottier, and the director was a crazed cowboy redneck? It would suck, that's what. But it would also be damn entertaining.

Space Truckers is too vulgar and raunchy for the art house crowd, too clever for the great unwashed, and too silly for anyone expecting to be convinced that they're watching "real" science. The lines are deliberately dorky, the special effects entirely unconvincing (who cares?), and the movie adds up to complete absurdity. I've seen it more than once, and it gets funnier every time. For people who complain that Dennis Hopper must have been really hard up to have agreed to do it, what about Charles Dance, a superb actor (Mr. Tulkinghorn in the new PBS "Bleak House")? They seemed to get the jokes, played it with zest, and managed to make it fly. I thought it was hysterically funny.

What an unusual, but never before thought of idea! It gets big points for originality by reviving the old days of 70s "truckin' man" flicks and updating the genre into a sci-fi visual feast that compares closely to STARSHIP TROOPERS! Imagine if Bo and Luke Duke were flying around in their orange coaster without jumping over obstacles, and avoiding capture by Sheriff Roscoe! There has to be a good sense of fantasy surrounding this old fad. Well, I'm not gonna get all hyped up about SPACE TRUCKERS, which is mainly your regular dosage of outer space mayhem. The simple action looks as good as the rich visual quality, but don't take it too hard. It plunges into the offbeat stage, and loses its sci-fi luster to some needless "hot" sexuality (added by the lack of gravity), and a captivity scene. I can tell that the minds of script writers skirted around the explicit subject matter, just to prevent any further boiling on the offensive side. You know, the two lovebirds running and floating around in their undies. And could it be that there are two different endings? Campy as it will sound, there is reason to have fun with it after all. Okay by me.

I have to respect movies which promise something and deliver exactly that. When I rented this (I was bored tonight) I had absolutely no expectations for some great piece of art, another Star Wars or Aliens. It was, however, a very cute and often amusing piece of sci-fi satire. (probably my favorite bit was how the truck's voice was a redneck woman, instead of the usual authoritative british guy) If you try to take it seriously, of course you'll hate it. But if you rent it because you want to see a beer & popcorn B-movie, then it's a REALLY good B-movie. I may have lost 90 minutes of my life and gained no new insights on the meaning of the universe, but I did have a good time.

The plot: Space truckers run into problems with space pirates, space politicians, and killer robots (who, technically, are not space robots).

Space Truckers is essentially a low budget, B movie space opera that's a parody of low budget, B movie space operas. It's full of cheesy lines, cheesy set design, and cheesy special effects. In fact, it's such a cheesy movie that it sometimes makes The Rocky Horror Picture Show look like The Godfather. At its heart, this movie is stupid, pointless, mindless, and has nothing to say about the human condition, except that it's funny to laugh at bad movies. If you're a Stuart Gordon fan, that's probably enough for you to enjoy this. As an added bonus, it's got a great cast, including many B movie veterans.

It can be enjoyed as either a so-bad-it's-good B movie or a clever parody. Like most Stuart Gordon films, it has rather narrow demographic appeal, and people who are not genre fans (or Stuart Gordon fans) are likely to hate it. I love Stanley Kubrick as much as the next film snob, but the world also needs ridiculous movies like Space Truckers and The Toxic Avenger. In fact, this movie is something of a marriage between Troma and New World Pictures. If you're unfamiliar with those studios -- or you dislike their copious output -- I'd strongly warn you away from this film. Space Truckers was reviled by the critics, rejected by audiences, and thought to be unintentionally funny by B movie fans. Well, for the true believers, this is an awesome movie, and nothing will ever convince us otherwise. Such is the cult of Stuart Gordon!