Wayne Knight: Al McWhiggin

Toy Story 2

Al McWhiggin

Al McWiggin: [on the phone as he starts packing] To overnight, 6 packages to Japan is how much? What? That's in yen, right? DOLLARS?'! Oh, you are deliberately takin' advantage of people in a hurry! You know that?'!

Al McWiggin: [to Geri the Cleaner whilst he's fixing Woody's arm] So, uh, how long is this gonna take?
Geri the Cleaner: Ya can't rush art.

Al McWiggin: [sadly] Welcome to Al's Toy Barn. We've got the lowest prices in town. Everything for a buck-buck-buck.
[cries]

Al McWiggin: [in his car, leaving his apartment] I can't believe I have to drive ALL the way to work on a Saturday. All the way to work!
[drives to the Al's Toy Barn on the other side of the street]

[Whilst the toys search the Woody on Al's Office, unaware that he's not really there and in Al's Apartment, Al enters talking on the phone and walking over to the Fax Machine]
Slinky Dog: [Whispering] It's him.
Hamm: The Chicken Man.
Buzz Lightyear #2: Funny, he doesn't look like poultry.
Slinky Dog: That's the Kidnapper alright.
Buzz Lightyear #2: Kidnapper, an Agent of Zurg if I ever saw one.
Al McWiggin: [Putting a photo of Woody through the Fax Machine] And the Piece de Resistance. I promise the Collection will be the Crown Jewel of your Museum.
[the photo pops out the Fax Machine through the other side, landing on the floor where the toys hid]
Slinky Dog: It's Woody
Al McWiggin: Now that I have your attention, imagine we added another Zero to the price, huh? What?
Al McWiggin: [Overjoyed] Yes? Yes! You've got yourself a deal! I'll be on the next flight to Japan!
Mr. Potato Head: [Shocked] He's selling Woody to a Toy Museum.
Rex: In *Japan*.
[the toys all jump into Al's Bag]
Buzz Lightyear #2: Into the Poultry Man's Cargo Unit. He'll lead us to Zurg. Move, move, move!
[Rex's tail hangs out of the bag, Al picks it up and laughs]
Al McWiggin: [Cheering to himself] I'm gonna be rich! Rich! Rich!

Al McWiggin: Look at the time; I'm gonna be late! Oh, figures; I can't miss this flight! I've gotta pack.
[puts Jessie, Bullseye and Woody into their cases]
Al McWiggin: Alright, let's see - uh, wallet, keys, tickets, uh, passport, beef jerky - very expensive over there - shower...
[sniffs his arm]
Al McWiggin: Oh, I can skip the shower. I've just gotta get outta here now!

Woody: [Voice box] There's a Snake in my Boot.
[This catches the Attention of a Man in the corner at the Yard Sale, who picks Woody up, and glances at him, the camera covers his face up]
Al McWiggin: [Gasps] Original hand-painted face, Natural dyed blanket-stitched vest,
[Looking at Woody's torn arm]
Al McWiggin: Hmm, a little rip... fixable, if only you had your hand-stitched polyvinyl...
[Spots Woody's hat on the ground, and places it back on]
Al McWiggin: [Overjoyed] A hat, yes I found him! I found him!

[Al had just taken a number of pictures of Woody and the Rest of the Roundup Gang, smiling to himself, and gets a phone call]
Al McWiggin: [On the Phone] Yeah what? Oh, Mr. Konishi. I have the pictures right here.
Al McWiggin: [Walking to the door, lying] In fact I'm in the car right now, on my way to the office to fax them to you. I'm going through a tunnel. I'm breaking up.
[Closes door]

Geri the Cleaner: [after fixing Woody] He's for display only. If you handle him too much he's not gonna last.
Al McWiggin: [pushing Geri aside] It's wonderful, he's amazing, it's just like new!

[Geri the cleaner arrives outside the door of Al's apartment, ready to give Woody a polish and re-attach his arm]
Al McWiggin: Thank goodness you're here!
Geri the Cleaner: Is the specimen ready for cleaning?

Al McWiggin: [to Woody, now placed into a Display Case] You, my little cowboy friend, are gonna make me big buck-buck-bucks!
[laughs, and walks out the door]