Don Rickles credited as playing...
Mr. Potato Head
- Buzz Lightyear: Good work, men. Two blocks down and only nineteen more to go.
- Mr. Potato Head: What?
- Rex, Hamm, Slinky Dog: Nineteen?
- Mr. Potato Head: Are we gonna do this all night? My parts are killing me.
- Buzz Lightyear: Come on, fellas. Did Woody give up when Sid had me strapped to a rocket?
- Mr. Potato Head, Rex, Hamm, Slinky Dog: No.
- Buzz Lightyear: No. And did he give up when you threw him out of the back of that moving van?
- Mr. Potato Head: Oh, you had to bring *that* up!
- Buzz Lightyear: No, he didn't! We have a friend in need, and we will not rest until he's safe in Andy's room! Now, let's move out!
- Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
- Mrs. Potato Head: You saved their lives? My hero! They're so adorable. Let's adopt them!
- Alien toys: [Gathering around Mr. Potato Head] Daddy!
- Mr. Potato Head: Oh, no.
- [the road leading to Al's Toy Barn on the other side has a tonne of Traffic in the way of the Toys]
- Rex: Oh well, we tried.
- Buzz Lightyear: [Holds onto Rex's tail] We'll have to cross.
- Rex, Slinky Dog, Mr. Potato Head, Hamm: WHAT?
- Mr. Potato Head: You're not turning me into a Mashed Potato.
- Slinky Dog: I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.
- Buzz Lightyear: There must be a safe way.
- [the toys are trying to find a way to enter Al's apartment building]
- Mr. Potato Head: I say we stack ourselves up, push the intercom and pretend we're delivering a pizza.
- Hamm: How about a ham sandwich? With fries and a hotdog?
- Rex: What about me?
- Hamm: Ah, you can be the toy that comes with the meal.
- Mr. Potato Head: [From under Andy's bed sheets] I found it.
- Woody: You found my hat?
- Mr. Potato Head: Your hat? No. The missus lost her earring.
- [singsong to Mrs. Potato Head]
- Mr. Potato Head: Oh my little sweet potato!
- Mrs. Potato Head: [turning around fast] Ooh, you found it! Ohh, it's so nice to have a big, strong spud around the house.
- [Woody goes to the yard sale with the help of Buster, Andy's dog, to rescue Wheezy]
- Mr. Potato Head: Where is he going? He's nuts!
- Slinky Dog: His arm ain't that bad.
- Rex: [yells] Don't do it, Woody! We love yooooou!
- Mr. Potato Head: Prepare to meet
- [shouts]
- Mr. Potato Head: [he accidentally sticks his extra pair of shoes on his face and runs into a wall] Mr. Angry Eyes! Argh argh!
- Hamm: Excuse me, ladies, but could any of you tell us where we might the Al of Al's Toy Barn?
- Tour guide Barbie: I can help!
- [slides down the slide and into the toy car]
- Tour guide Barbie: I'm Tour Guide Barbie! Please keep your hands, arms, and accessories in the car, and no flash photography. Thank you.
- Mr. Potato Head: I'm a married spud, I'm a married spud...
- Hamm: [Hopping into the front seat of the car] Then make way for the single fellas.
- [Whilst the toys search the Woody on Al's Office, unaware that he's not really there and in Al's Apartment, Al enters talking on the phone and walking over to the Fax Machine]
- Slinky Dog: [Whispering] It's him.
- Hamm: The Chicken Man.
- Buzz Lightyear #2: Funny, he doesn't look like poultry.
- Slinky Dog: That's the Kidnapper alright.
- Buzz Lightyear #2: Kidnapper, an Agent of Zurg if I ever saw one.
- Al McWiggin: [Putting a photo of Woody through the Fax Machine] And the Piece de Resistance. I promise the Collection will be the Crown Jewel of your Museum.
- [the photo pops out the Fax Machine through the other side, landing on the floor where the toys hid]
- Slinky Dog: It's Woody
- Al McWiggin: Now that I have your attention, imagine we added another Zero to the price, huh? What?
- Al McWiggin: [Overjoyed] Yes? Yes! You've got yourself a deal! I'll be on the next flight to Japan!
- Mr. Potato Head: [Shocked] He's selling Woody to a Toy Museum.
- Rex: In *Japan*.
- [the toys all jump into Al's Bag]
- Buzz Lightyear #2: Into the Poultry Man's Cargo Unit. He'll lead us to Zurg. Move, move, move!
- [Rex's tail hangs out of the bag, Al picks it up and laughs]
- Al McWiggin: [Cheering to himself] I'm gonna be rich! Rich! Rich!
- [Potato Head has saved some alien toys]
- Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
- Mr. Potato Head: Will you just leave me alone?
- [Woody explains his newfound past to his old friends]
- Woody: Oh, you should have seen it. There was a record player. And a yo-yo. Buzz, I was a yo-yo!
- Mr. Potato Head: [to Hamm] WAS?
- Rex: [as he and the Other Toys walk through the bushes] Losing health units... Must rest...
- Buzz Lightyear: Is everyone present and accounted for?
- Mr. Potato Head: Not quite everybody.
- Buzz Lightyear: Who's behind?
- Slinky Dog: Mine...
- [Slinky Dog's back half catches up with the group]
- Slinky Dog: [the Toys are searching for Woody down one of the aisles] We've been down this aisle already.
- Mr. Potato Head: We haven't been down this aisle, it's pink.
- Slinky Dog: Face it, we're lost.
- Buzz Lightyear #2: We've been detected! The walls! They're closing in!
- [grabs Mr. Potato head and mounts him aganist the celing of the vent]
- Buzz Lightyear #2: Quick, help me prop up Vegetable man here or we're done for!
- Mr. Potato Head: Hey! Put me down you moron!
- Rex: Hey, guys, look, it's not the walls, it's the elevator.
- [the elevator further down the shaft arrives at the bottom]
- Buzz Lightyear #2: [Looking up, it's quite a way] Come on, we've got no time to lose. Everyone grab hold!
- [Buzz #2 draws out a rope from his Utility Belt, tossing it to the other toys, and activates 2 Suction Magnets from the sides. He then starts climbing up at the side of the shaft]
- Hamm: Uh Buzz? Why not just take the Elevator?
- Buzz Lightyear #2: They'll be expecting that.
- Buzz Lightyear: Woody you're in Danger here, we need to leave now.
- Rex: Al's selling you to a Toy Museum, in Japan.
- Woody: I know! It's okay, Buzz. I actually wanna go.
- Mr. Potato Head: [Shocked] What? Are you crazy?
- Woody: Look, the thing is, I'm this rare "Sheriff Woody" doll, and these guys, are my - round-up gang.
- Buzz Lightyear: Woody, what are you talking about?
- Woody: What am I talking about? "Woody's Round-Up"! Oh, it's this great old T.V. show, and I was the star.
- [turns on T.V. and "Woody's Round-Up" video starts playing]
- Woody: See, look, that's me!
- Hamm: This is weirdin' me out.
- [the Toys have successfully made it across the road wearing Rubber Cones, but have caused a number of Car Crashes]
- Mr. Potato Head: [Throwing the Cone off him] Well that went well.
- [the Large Rolling Cyllinder that almost crushed him continues rolling forward, and knocks down a Lampost]
- Buzz Lightyear: Good work Gentleman. We're getting much closer to Woody
- [as Buzz and the other toys head off to Al's Toy Barn, the camera pans over at Al's Apartment across the road, Woody's Real Whereabouts]
- Hamm: [the toys are climbing up an elevator shaft. Some coins fall out of Hamm's stomach opening] Uh oh. Hey, heads up down there.
- Slinky Dog: [They hit Slinky in the face] Whoa, Pork bellies are falling.
- Mr. Potato Head: [Lands on one of Mr. Potato Head's eyes, which he manages to flick off easily] Hey, how much farther Buzz?
- Buzz Lightyear #2: Half way, there.
- Hamm: All right, let's review this one more time. At precisely 8:32-ish, Exhibit A, Woody, was kidnapped.
- [Etch-A-Sketch draws Woody]
- Hamm: Exhibit B, a composide sketch of the kidnapper.
- [Etch-A-Sketch draws Al with a long beard]
- Bo Peep: He didn't have a beard like that.
- Hamm: Fine. Uh, Etch, give him a shave.
- [Etch-A-Sketch redraws Al without a beard]
- Slinky Dog: The kidnapper was bigger than that.
- Hamm: Oh, picky, picky, picky.
- Mr. Potato Head: Oh, let's just go straight to Exhibit F! The kidnapper's vehicle.
- [Refers to their toy reconstruction of the driveway]
- Mr. Potato Head: Now the vehicle fled the scene in this direction.
- [pushes a toy car to the left]
- Hamm: Oh, your parts are in backwards! It went the other way!
- [pushes the toy car right]
- Hamm: Hey, put a cork in it!
- [Rex walks through, destroying their model]
- Rex: Hey, how do you spell F-B-I?
- Mr. Potato Head: My crime scene!
- Hamm: Hey, watch where you're going, Godspilla!
- Rex: I didn't know this was a crime scene!
- Buzz Lightyear #2: [Rex having pushed the Other Toys down due to slipping, causes Buzz #2's weight to give in] What was I thinking? My Anti-gravity servos
- [Presses the button on his Utility Belt, lighting it up, unaware that he's just a toy]
- Buzz Lightyear #2: Hang tight everyone, I'm going to let go of the wall.
- [the other toys all look up at him shocked]
- Slinky Dog: Huh?
- Rex: What?
- Mr. Potato Head: He wouldn't!
- Buzz Lightyear #2: One!
- Hamm: He would.
- Hamm: Two!
- Slinky Dog, Rex, Mr. Potato Head, Hamm: DON'T DO IT, BUZZ!
- Buzz Lightyear #2: Three!
- [he lets go of the wall and they all land on the elevator, which is coming up the shaft]
- Buzz Lightyear #2: To infinity and beyond! Approaching destination. Reengaging gravity.
- [Turns off Belt]
- Buzz Lightyear #2: [gets off the elevator into the vent] Area secure.
- Slinky Dog, Rex, Mr. Potato Head, Hamm: [all moaning]
- Buzz Lightyear #2: It's OK troops, the antigravity sickness will wear off momentarily. Now, let's move!
- Mr. Potato Head: Remind me to glue his helmet shut when we get back.