Dianne Wiest credited as playing...
Aunt Jet
- Sally Owens: And I don't want them dancing naked under the full moon!
- Aunt Jet Owens: No, of course. The nudity is entirely optional. As you well remember!
- [making margaritas]
- Aunt Frances Owens: Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog.
- Aunt Jet Owens: Adder's fork and blindworm's sting...
- Aunt Frances Owens: Barbados lime is just the thing.
- Aunt Jet Owens: Cragged salt like a sailor's stubble!
- Aunt Frances Owens: Flip the switch and let the cauldron bubble!
- [all drunk]
- Gillian Owens: You southern shrew!
- Aunt Jet Owens: Ingrate!
- Aunt Frances Owens: Goodie two shoes!
- Sally Owens: WITCH!
- Aunt Jet Owens: And this is what comes from dabbling; I mean you can't practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it.
- Aunt Frances Owens: [about Jimmy] We have to banish him.
- Aunt Jet Owens: We have to force his spirit back into the grave.
- Aunt Frances Owens: We need a full coven.
- Aunt Jet Owens: Nine women. Twelve's better.
- Aunt Frances Owens: [to Sally] Do you have any friends?
- Sally Owens: [Cut to the Kitchen, Sally on the phone] Linda! Hi, it's Sally. I'm activating the phone tree. Look, uh, you know the - the stuff that everyone's always whispering about me... the hexes, the spells, the...? Well, here's the thing. Uh... I'm witch!
- Sally Owens: [after Michael's death; brings the spell book out] You brought him into my life and now I want you to bring him back. Bring him back! I have never asked you for anything. I've never asked you for spells but do this. I know you can bring him back.
- Aunt Jet Owens: No, dear. We won't do that.
- Aunt Frances Owens: We don't do that.
- Sally Owens: But you can. You can do this. I know you can. I remember. I found it here when mommy and daddy died.
- Aunt Frances Owens: Even if we did bring him back, it wouldn't be Michael. It would be something else. Something dark and unnatural.
- Sally Owens: [Starts crying] I don't care what he comes back as. As long he comes back. Please do this for me. Please? Please? Please? Please?
- Aunt Frances Owens: [to young Sally and Gillian] That's how you came to live with us. We tucked you into our lives then. We've raised you the best way we know how.
- Aunt Jet Owens: In this house we have chocolate cake for breakfast. We never bother with silly things like bedtimes or brushing our teeth.
- Aunt Frances Owens: But with the sweets comes the sour...
- Aunt Jet Owens: So when you find yourself the center of attention... It's not that they hate you. It's that, well... We're different.
- Aunt Jet Owens: Gillian, Sally. The only curse in this family is sitting there at the end of the table. Your Aunt Fanny.
- Aunt Jet Owens: You see that couple here? Well, he's having an affair with the babysitter and she can eat a pound cake in under a minute.
- Aunt Frances Owens: Oh come on, Jetty, even you have to admit that any man who gets involved with an Owens woman is bound to end up 6 feet under.
- Aunt Jet Owens: Spare me.
- Aunt Frances Owens: What about my poor Ethan?
- Aunt Jet Owens: It was an accident.
- Aunt Frances Owens: It was fate.
- Aunt Jet Owens: [More forcefully] It was an accident.
- Aunt Frances Owens: [Also more forceful] No, no, no, it was fate.
- Aunt Jet Owens: [yelling] Accident!
- Aunt Frances Owens: [also yelling] It was fate!
- Sally Owens: I want you both to watch what you say to those girls. I don't you filling their heads with any of your nonsense, okay?
- Aunt Jet Owens: We'd never tell them nonsense, dear.
- Young Sally Owens: What about my homework?
- Aunt Jet Owens: Oh, pish! Tosh! You're both going to learn things in this house that you will never learn in school.
- Aunt Jet Owens: Oh, dear. It seems we've not arrived in the nick of time.
- Aunt Frances Owens: Well. I see our instincts are getting a little rusty.