The Crippled Masters

After antagonising Lin Chang Cao (Chen Mu Chuan), the local crime-boss and deadly master of kung-fu, a couple of gang members are mutilated (one by having his arms chopped off, the other by having his legs eaten away with acid) and left to die. But, through their indomitable wills and with the assistance of an incredibly flexible yoga/kung-fu master, they become deadly fighters, both alone and as a pair. The film is typical low-budget chop-socky with a ridiculous story, a terrible script and/or dubbing, ludicrous over-the-top fight scenes, and (most notably) ridiculous sound-effects. For fans of 70s kung-fu movies, this is all part of the fun but what separates this outing from its peers, and perhaps elevates it to a classic of exploitation cinema, is its cast: Frankie Shum, who was born with only a partial left arm (due to in utero thalidomide exposure) is the armless Lee Ho, and Jackie Conn, whose legs were congenitally atrophied and non-functional, plays the 'leg-less' Tang. The pair are remarkable athletes and, although their fighting prowess seems a bit unlikely under the circumstances, make great heroes as they methodically dispatch Lin Chang Cao's various henchmen before the inevitable final confrontation. Whether the film (like 'Freaks' or 'Terror in Tiny Town' before it) is exploitation or empowerment (or both) can be discussed, but in the end it gave some exposure (and presumably some cash) to a couple of artists who likely found their options limited. Although the film belongs Shum and Conn, the 'Old Man' who can fit himself into a basket (played by Yoga-master Ho Chiu) is also incredible to watch. Oddly, the film opens with a stagey demonstration of the three stars' athletic abilities before cutting to the story proper. Shown as part of TCM's recent focus on 'people with disabilities in film' and probably not what most people would expect at such a retrospective. Recommended as a one-of-a-kind WTF movie to anyone would still tune in after reading a synopsis.

Crippled Masters? Who get the ideas for these flicks? I can barely imagine the sick person who was looking for a story to make a good flick and all he come up with is "I know! I'll make a movie about two crippled guys who do kung fu!". Anyway, the guy who thaught of this get high points for originality, as watching an armless guy and a legless one beat up people is highly entertaining. Just don't expect anything more than cheesy, campy fun.

About the story, it goes a little like this: A man gets both arm chopped off(producing a low amount of blood for this kind of flick) by an evil warlord(who has a weird drawing thingie under the eye). He then stumble around with both arm chopped off, eating pig food and such. He then meet a follow handicapable(hehe) who had his leg melted with a very low quantity of acid by the same warlord. Fast running on hands and stump hits ensue.

First of all, you gotta respect the two actors' ability to cope with their handicap and do kung fu. And they're quite good at it too(for crippled guys, I mean).

Next thing that make this movie fun is the very low production value, causing bizarre and often funny mistakes. This film also got the loud punching sound that goes along with kung fu flicks.

In the end, I'd recommend renting this flick if you feel like watching two crippled kung fu masters fight again an evil warlord who can block with his back can be entertaining, or just for the novelty factor, because there isn't much else to it...

The movie flies out of the starting gate with the punishment of Lee Ho. We do not know his crime, just that his arms have to go. You heard correctly. They chop off both his arms. As further humiliation and disgrace, they throw his bleeding, armless body into the dusty street. Minutes after his loss, Lee Ho stumbles through the streets, where his bleeding and armless body is mistaken for a beggar. He offers a man a little money to let him eat, for the promise of double pay the next time (think J. Wellington Wimpy type). He never actually gets to eat anything but is nearly beaten to death. He gets thrown out with the trash and dead bodies, ending up being rescued by the undertaker. He is then discovered by Black and White (henchman of Nin Li Kong, a.k.a. the Master, pronounced Ninja Kong) and is beaten again. After nearly drowning, feeding on some leftover rice and pig feed, Lee finds some purpose. We see Lee performing lots of chores, games and even fighting skills. This is very inspirational stuff.

Ninja Kong (a.k.a - the Master) continues the carnage by taking out the man responsible for dishing out the punishment to Lee. He pours acid over his legs, beats him up and then throws him thrown off a cliff. Ninja Kong seems like he might be Triad. He is constantly trying to strong arm people. He has a scar under his left arm and a playboy mustache. The legless one manages to crawl away but kismet intervenes and instead he meets up with Lee. Lee is obviously angry and pounds on the "leg-less" master.

In the middle of this fight, a wise-old man pops out of a basket. He does this a few times during the movie. He teaches Lee to forgive and unite. United they can exorcise their revenge on the person responsible for everything : Ninja Kong. We next see the traditional "training" sequences. We see all the deeds these two "crippled" masters can pull off. This is some more inspirational stuff. There is also something about the 8 Jade Horses that people are after, but I lost track of things after a while.

The ending is a bit predictable and a final conflict between protagonists and antagonist is quite obvious. The methodology is the surprise. It must be seen to be believed. There is also a great first person perspective of getting our butts handed to us. This movie feels like it could have been used as communist manifesto. I can very easily imagine seeing this movie at a Saturday night "party meeting". What this movie does have is the guaranteed pick-me up. No matter how sick, angry, down or depressed you are, watching this movie will guarantee you will feel more content with your own situation. Who knew contentment could be had for a one time fee of $5 from your local DVD merchant?

-Celluloid Rehab

If you think you would enjoy watching a movie about an armless kung-fu warrior and a legless kung-fu warrior who team up to get back at the guys who chopped them up... this is your movie

Let's see, what do we have: Old recluse teacher type, check. Bizarre training regimine, check. Tea house scene, check. Evil bad guy with secret problem, check. Bolo Yeung, hmmm missed on this point, but there is at least one wannabe. Actor with face painted a weird shade of white/green, check.

Unusual items that make this one different? Never seen the butt used with such force before! The use of too handicapped individuals was very different, one with a limited stump of an arm instead of two and one with two fairly useless legs.

All in all very typical of the genre. Fight scenes abound linked together with a bit of a plot. The most interesting part was watching the two heroes work their way around doing daily tasks.