Carolyn Jones credited as playing...
Morticia Addams • Ophelia Frump
- First Cop: Sorry, folks, but there's been complaints about the noise.
- Morticia Addams: But this is a holiday, and a very special holiday for the Addams family. Everyone here is a relative.
- Uncle Fester: [brings in the crooks] I'm sorry, you're mistaken, Morticia, these two aren't.
- First Cop: Well... Bones Lafferty and Louie the Lard?
- Gomez Addams: Oh, you must be mistaken, Officer; these are members of our family.
- [Fester shakes his head]
- Boss Crook: No, no, no. No, we, we, we, we just said that... we're not members. Oh, but the lion, a lion! In, in the basement, and a lady flew right out the window!
- Little Bo Peep: That was no lady, it was a pterodactyl.
- Morticia Addams: Ah, Mr. Addams, do have some hors d'oeuvres. Eh, these creep, these hop, and these just lie there.
- Morticia Addams: [an explosion is heard from the kitchen] Did you have a cake in the oven, Mama?
- Grandmama Addams: It's that woman again! That's my kitchen, not an airport!
- Ophelia Frump: I found him! I found him! He was hiding.
- Pancho Addams: I was not hiding, I was... meditating.
- Ophelia Frump: In the dumbwaiter?
- Gomez Addams: This Boston branch is extremely innovative, Querida.
- Morticia Addams: And they bulge nicely, too.
- Morticia Addams: [singing] Christmas and Easter bring wonderful treasures, but spirits and pumpkins bring far greater pleasures.
- Morticia Addams: Eh, this is Mr. Grim, the assessor. Show him the house, please.
- Grandmama Addams: He's in it.
- Gomez Addams: [opening a present] An umbrella. Tish, you know me like a book.
- Morticia Addams: I was afraid the weather might turn nasty. And you know how miserable sunshine can be. I shall pray for clouds.