Cry Wilderness

This movie appears in my nightmares. I wish so badly to go back to the time when I never saw this, but unfortunately I'm stuck with knowing it exists. It made me ask many questions: Who greenlit this monstrosity? What were they high on? Did they owe a favor to someone? Letting this dumpster fire become an actual movie should have resulted in criminal punishment. Jail time at the very least.

I place this movie in my personal category of movies that cross into an area of unusually poor film-making, and in doing so, leave you unable to pull yourself away. Even telling friends, you have to see this movie because it is SO bad. I have to tell myself that this is the goal of those who make movies like this. I just can't honestly accept that someone wrote this, thought it was good, and was able to make the movie, with the honest intention of having it be good. So, if you are considering watching this movie, chances are it's because you've found it at a library, (I've never seen it in any video store), but if you have made the unfortunate decision to pay money to rent, or, heaven forbid, buy it, I suggest a healthy dose of your preferred inebriant and low expectations. REALLY low expectations.

This movie was chosen as episode 2 of the reboot of MST3K for a reason. It's not even "so bad it's good", just plain bad.

The story doesn't go anywhere, I've seen better editing from the average 11 year old's YouTube video, the acting is seriously painful to watch, and the whole thing is just completely disjointed. It's like a fever dream from which you just can't wake up from.

The only thing that saved the movie was the MST3K riffing, some of the funniest (and edgiest!) I've heard. Do yourself a favour... if you MUST watch this schlock, watch the MST3K version.

From out of focus shots, to shots you couldn't connect with Legos, to acting so wooden you look for termites 🐜... This is BORING, plot less, and totally disjointed, with inadvertent time travel as the film constantly jumps from fall to winter (snow ❄ in one shot, gone in the next). A complete waste from start (at the world's worst museum) to finish (at a raccoon filled cabin) THIS is cinematic torture!

Upfront, I feel I need to say that I had never seen Cry Wilderness until it appeared in one of episodes of new MST3K. Regardless, I will be as objective as possible. I'm not one of those who thinks a movie is necessarily bad for appearing on MST3K. Some of the films on the show are actually very good and enjoyable on their own. Unfortunately, Cry Wilderness isn't one of them.

In short, Cry Wilderness is a mess of a movie. What little plot there is concerns an annoying little boy who receives a warning from Bigfoot that his father is in danger. This thin thread of a plot doesn't really hold the film together, however. The movie consists of a series of unrelated scenes haphazardly put together. The acting ranges from bad to downright atrocious. Continuity is non- existent. Characters go from one location to a completely different location in seconds. The mystical hokum of the old Native American and his band of animals is ridiculously presented. And Bigfoot is a disaster. The costume isn't even complete. On the positive side, there are some nice animal-in- nature type shots, but that's about it. Overall, a lowly 2/10 from me.