Satan's Children

Satan's Children (1975)

** (out of 4) Bobby (Stephen White) isn't having a very good day. While his stuck-up step-sister sits by the pool his mean stepfather bosses him around making him do all sorts of chores. After finally working up the courage to run away Bobby is then sexually assaulted by a group of homosexuals before waking up in a field where he is discovered by a group of people who turn out to be Satan worshipers!

SATAN'S CHILDREN has one of the wackiest story lines that you're ever going to witness and while the film isn't a masterpiece I thought it was silly enough to be entertaining in its own way. Of course, that depends on the viewer not taking it too serious. This is one of those low-budget movies that were made back in the drive-in era by college kids and it really shows. It's easy to see that the majority of people were working on their only film but this adds a layer of charm to the picture.

Again, if you're looking for a polished Satanic movie then go check out ROSEMARY'S BABY. This film here certainly isn't that but there's so much stuff going on that you can't help but have some fun with it. Poor Bobby goes through all sorts of hardships and it's all done in a rather amusing way. Seeing his time get worse and worse just has something funny about it. There are some pretty campy things that happen at the Satanic cult including one bizarre sequence where a woman is beaten with stones and then buried.

Performances are pretty much what you'd expect from a film like this but I thought White at least kept us glued to what's happening to his character. This here was the second of two films that director Joe Wiezycki made in his career and he can at least say he made something that really isn't like anything else.

"Satan's Children" follows teenager Bobby, who is tormented by his abusive stepsister and stepfather. When Bobby runs away, he falls victim to a group of brutish men who gang rape him and leave him in a ditch for dead. If things couldn't get worse, he is taken in by a cult of Manson family-esque Satanists.

This no-budget schlock-fest is one of the weirder Satanic-themed horror films of the '70s, inept in more ways than one can count, but so bizarre that it almost demands to be seen. Despite its budgetary limitations, the themes and content here are pretty cruel, and the plot setup has been (understandably) questioned for the confounding moral stance it does (or doesn't) take.

Aesthetically, the film's cinematography is pedestrian at best, often looking like a cheaply-made Afterschool Special from hell, and boasts inane performances from a young cast of non-actors. The film contains a trove of flimsy dialogue and disconnected editing choices that lend it a somewhat surreal quality, but none of this seems to be intentional in the slightest. Even still, despite its weaknesses, "Satan's Children" offers enough visual (and thematic) strangeness--and some occasionally haunting imagery--to warrant a viewing from fans of Z-grade grindhouse horror. 6/10.

I started with this would be just another bad movie moved on to thinking it was an attempt by a Christian church group at showing the evils of drugs sex and homosexuality and how they all lead to satan but then it seemed like a Church is Satan recruitment video for reasons I won't explain, possible spoilers. This is cheese from start to finish bad acting outside the performance of the guy playing the cult leader the dialogue would have been better if the acting talent was up to the job. I'll tell you what, I'm probably going to remember this movie for a very long time because I thought I figured out the point to the movie but was wrong multiple times. I'm obsessed with finding any actual information about who made this and why but other than a brief synopsis on IMDB that showed that this was the lone credit for the entire cast I've found nothing beyond that the "studio" never made another movie and there is no Wikipedia page, the movie is almost a complete mystery.

I'm no Satanist but I'm pretty sure of one thing - Satan loves the gays. What better way to bring sin into the world? They're so efficient at it! But, like all other religions, everyone has their own (mis)conception of whatever imaginary friend they worship. In the case of Simon's Satanic cult, they literally just change "God" to "Satan" and leave everything else as is. Thus, the gay is ironically evil. So is unchecked greed and power-grabbing. And gratuitous nudity. And even straight sex seems to be taboo.

Long story short, Satan is a prude and this movie, despite its inadvertent hilarity offers nothing more titilating than the lead actor's bare ass just before he's raped by some rednecks.

The budget for "Satan's Children" must have been about $72.99-- certainly no more. This is because the acting, direction and script are all bargain basement and nothing speaks of quality about the movie...nothing. Because of this, the only folks who might find it of interest are bad movie buffs--and that's what I am. While I don't want a steady stream of terrible films, every so often it's fun to watch an ultra-crappy movie just for a laugh.

The film stars a young man who is about as charismatic as a block of Velveta. When he argues with his stupid step-dad, he runs off--into the arms of some gay rapists! Then, he's rescued by a coven of Satan worshipers. You know, things keep going from bad to worse with this guy! How can it get worse? He will then be forced to watch a lot of amazingly bad actors (such as "Simon") and that seems like a fate worse than death!

I don't know who the audience was for this pile of crap, but according to IMDb it was made mostly by University of South Florida students in Tampa--the movie capital of the world. Why they made it, I have no idea. I hope it wasn't for a film class, as the film makes it seem like they learned absolutely nothing! It just doesn't get much worse than this!

If you in a mood to torment yourself, you can find this turkey on YouTube. Don't say I didn't warn you!!