High Voltage

... a new "worst film ever made" has arrived. This thing should be shown to every aspiring actor, director, writer and producer, to show them how really bad "bad" can be. Why it's not billed as a comedy is the big question. Everyone involved should hang their heads in shame, or better yet, they should all be drummed-out of whatever guild or union they belong to. I have to admit I watched it from beginning to end, sort of like watching a terrible train wreck.

But the real puzzle here is why any of the other reviewers would say they enjoyed it. The fact that these people are living among us, walking around in public, and worse yet, driving on our streets, panics the hell outta me.

Some guy... RUGBY15 or something was talking about how awful this movie is. Well let me tell you he is dead wrong...

Sort of.

Yes. The movie is bad in all those ways he mentions, but what's worse is the music. A character can't even remove a pair of sunglasses without some ridiculous cymbal crash or something. The soundscape is so ludicrous that it reaches a point of being grotesque.

I could not turn this piece of solid waste off, it seriously was the most embarrassingly hackneyed pile of sh** in the world. In one of the last gunfights, the entire shootout comes to a dead halt as a character named Bulldog rides through a door on his motorcycle with a chick wrapped in a leather bra.

I have a little hint here to filmmakers -- simply standing behind a wooden door or desk, or an upolstered armchair will not be enough to stop a bullet.

This movie has a lot of characters jumping through the air sideways and in slow motion as they fire off two guns at once while they have at least a dozen gun battles with the Vietamese mafia (yes, you heard right... It's those god**** Vietamese again...only now they are in a mafia apparently).

This film looks as though it were directed, shot and written by really uncreative and possibly mentally retarded 12 year old whit-e-trash orphans.

Here's a sample of some brilliant dialogue in an exchange between Bulldog and Johnny: "Go to hell Johnny!" "...No." "Yes. That's where you're going. To hell. Because you'll be dead." "You're the one whose gonna be going to hell and be dead mother f****r."

I felt physically embarrassed watching this.

It's kind of a weak film, but it's rather entertaining and the late night crowd in the mood for a fast and fun actioner should enjoy it. I thought the cast did a fine job, Antonio Sabato Jr., is a cool action hero and I was glad to see the great, rising young star Lochlyn Munroe (Dead Man On Campus, A Night At The Roxbury) in it as one of Sabato's members who may or may not be a bad guy. Shannon Lee (Bruce's daughter) and some famous Hong Kong stars also turn in good performances. Done in the style of John Woo, this has lots of fast paced shoot outs, good surprises and twists, and a cool "Pulp Fiction" like score in the background. The story is cliched at times and it gets a bit melodramatic when it comes to the end, but I still enjoyed this film and it should please ones looking for a good way to kill 90 minutes.

I laughed so hard watching this movie I nearly killed myself. It is so unbelievably bad and so completely unaware of how bad it is that you can't help staring in shocked disbelief. The dialogue is horrible, the acting sucks (save for a pretty OK performance by Monroe), and the directing is a textbook of cheesy bad timing. But what really makes the film worth watching is the action sequences. These little cut rate gems rival even the worst overseas, badly dubbed monstrosities. Examples: A guy dies from a gunshot wound to the shoulder; people jump off walls and fly 20 feet in the air; Every time somebody turns quickly or reaches for something, you get the ever popular "whoosh" sound effect. This movie is horrible, but it's a great late night choice if you want to see just how bad bad film making can be.

Basically, most of the actors rush their lines, and except for the two Antonios (Lochlyn Munro somewhat OK), the acting basically sucked, which means the directing also sucked.

Weak story, weak writing. Worst of all was the music.

It's also funny that the writer (Mike Mains, the worst actor in the film) wrote himself the part of having the first primary relationship in the film. The interaction between the two of them is about as exciting as that between a turtle and a rock.

The positive reviews here are a joke. It is however, an adequate film for those who want to get high and laugh at how awful this film is.